


Movies Are Awesome!

by MrWartburg



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 22:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 23,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrWartburg/pseuds/MrWartburg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the team and it's members are facing stressful situations or imminent death what will they do? Quote movies of course! A series of crackfic one-shots centering around famous movie quotes. Enjoy! Chapter 31: Remember, remember the 5th of November.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Snakes on a Bio-ship

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a challenge piece on FF.net, but grew into a series of chapters based on various famous movie quotes.

* * *

**July 27** **th** **, 2012 – 8:00 p.m.  
** **Mount Justice**

After a day of training intermixed with some downtime the team decided to lounge around the TV for the evening. It was currently storming outside so doing anything outdoorsy was currently not an option and thus the team set out to find an appropriate movie for the evening. Last time the girls had gotten to pick a chick flick with the help of Black Canary so it was quickly decided by a majority vote (i.e. all the guys) that the gentlemen would pick the evening's entertainment.

Wally and Dick, ever the exuberant pair of heroes, excitedly ran through the DVDs and Blu-Rays that were kept in the cave. Starting on the opposite end of the rows of movies the two worked toward the center examining and discarding multiple options until finally they both reached the middle and their eyes fell on the same movie simultaneously: Snakes on a Plane. They both had a glint in their eyes as they knew this would be great payback for the girls who they were positive couldn't stand the many snake related horrors within the film.

Two hours later and the boys were not disappointed. Artemis had nearly vomited when a snake bit off a certain unique part of the male anatomy while M'gann was visibly shaking. Zatanna had left after the first 40 minutes, determined to not bear witness to the downright creepy as hell legless monsters. Artemis was trying her best not to appear as though the movie affected her in the least, but snakes were one of her biggest fears. After all, what sane person wasn't at least a little freaked out by a snake? When the movie ended she quickly, perhaps too quickly, made a beeline for her room.

Seeing her reactions throughout the film gave KF and Robin a most mischievous idea…

* * *

**Four days later**

Over the next four days Wally and Dick took great pleasure in tormenting their female counterparts on the team with a variety of snake related pranks. They used the caves computer system to project fake snakes crawling around the training room whenever any of the three girls entered the room. This had worked for several hours until RT examined the room and concluded that there was no snake presence.

The boys then moved on to placing some movie prop (Dick just told Wally not to ask where he got them from) snakes within the girls' room and more specifically under or in their pillow cases. That night the cave was treated to three loud and terrifying screams that woke the other sleeping residents. Needless to say that particular prank drew the ire of a very irate Black Canary, thought the two considered it well worth the consequences.

The boys had also been placing the snakes in various spots around the bio ship so that on each mission they went on a snake would be "discovered" there by unsettling the girls on the team. All in all the constant barage of the snake pranks was taking it's toll on the girls, especially Artemis who the guys were certain was about to crack and actually admit to being frightened of them. So far the archer had vehemently denied any fear associated with the creatures, but it was clear to most that she was lying through her teeth.

But their various efforts had nothing on the last and best prank. Wally had been running all over the place trying to find just the most perfect specimen to scare the absolute bejesus out of one Artemis Crock the next time they went out in the bio ship. Finding what he was looking for in a meadow near the mountain he smiled and laughed manically as he sprinted back to the cave to meet up with Dick to plan their masterstroke.

* * *

**Onboard the bio-ship – July 31** **st  
Training exercise**

The team had been giving a live fire training exercise by the League to be fought in a remote location in the Midwest. The team was eager to please the League and each member was quickly rechecking their equipment and weapons while en route to the drop zone. Robin took out each of his gadgets and replaced them in his suit, mentally checking off the contents as he did so. M;gann focused on piloting the ship. Kaldur adjusted his waterbearers. Wally put on and removed his goggles and, of course, kept poking the stealth function on his suit. Superboy simply stared straight ahead while Zatanna sat inwardly ran through a list of spells.

Each were contemplating deeply on the task at hand when they were shook from their thoughts by a violent, high-pitched, and over the top scream from a certain green-clad archer. Atremis had sat alone in the back of the bio ship and examined each arrow in her quiver before replacing to look at another. She had not expected to find a garter snake attached to the shaft of one of the arrows.

Everyone on the team turned to face the archer who had bolted up from her chair and thrown the offending arrow as far away from her person as she possibly could. The ship was silent as the teens took in the sight of their friend and teammate nearly hyperventilating. Well, everyone was silent by Wally and Robin, who were straining, and failing, to cover their snickering. The noise did not escape the blonde archer who went from frightened to angry so fast it nearly gave the team whiplash.

"You two!" She bounded forward toward the two teen heroes in questions, "Enough is enough! I've had with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking bio-ship!"

And despite the fact that she was a 15 year-old girl she was just about as intimidating as a pissed off Samuel L. Jackson. Needless to say, the boys quit using snakes as a scare tactic from that point on.

**\- Fin**


	2. Predator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally selflessly and hilariously sacrifices himself to save his teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing of the YJ universe; this is solely for my reader's entertainment and my own amusement.
> 
> My second movie quote one-shot is below. I made these into a series of one-shots because you never know when the inspiration for a story will strike and this way I can just add it into a collection. 
> 
> Also, if any of you have not seen the movie Predator you will probably not get the reference. Watch this video before reading the story: 
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9-Te-DPbSE
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

**Location unknown - 11:30 p.m.**

Robin was breathing hard as he tried to escape the nuclear plant. Trouble the plant in question was rumbling ominously and dust was thick in the air making navigating the corridors difficult, even for the Boy Wonder. Needless to say it made running a little difficult and he was forced to move at a snail's pace compared to his normal speed. He, Artemis and Wally had been sent on yet another mission by Batman. No psychic link as Miss M. was out of the equation so the team had to rely on basic radio communication. While the JLA comms were high-tech and very secure they found the team found themselves isolated when their radios were jammed. Soon after the sound of gunfire reached Robin's ears from the floor below, which told him that Artemis had been spotted and was making a not so stealthy retreat back to the roof.

Robin heard nothing from above, though that didn't necessarily mean that Kid Flash hadn't been incapacitated. Robin sat in the air vent while the guards on his floor made a beeline toward the exit, presumably to help their comrades handle the female archer. They just didn't know that Robin was going to use the distraction to gather the available intel.

In the midst of hacking the computer in the center of the room Robin heard, or rather felt, a highly charged explosion deep within the facility. The reverberations from the blast sent clouds of dust into the air and the sounds of groaning metal and shuddering cement and rock caused any one inside the structure to figuratively crap their pants before scrambling for the nearest exit. Disconnecting his computer cable Robin trusted his teammates would find their way back to the ship, as without a working comm device he couldn't rally them to his position. With grim determination Robin moved as fast as he could to the roof and the bio-ship.

After climbing 12 floors he was near his destination. Another flight of stairs and he reached the roof only to find Kid Flash lying prone behind cover 75 feet from the cloaked bio-ship.

As a round of gunfire pierced the night air KF couldn't help but yell to his long time best friend, "Nice night huh?"

"Yeah, just peachy KF! Got a plan on how to get out of this mess?"

"Well I was just going to run through them, but I didn't plan on getting shot in the leg. Any clue where Artemis is?" The speedster didn't have to wait long for an answer as an arrow came shooting over their heads and landed between the heroes and the bad guys. Smoke immediately snaked its way out of the arrow creating a temporary visibility screen between the teens and their attackers.

"Oh, there you are Arty. What took you so long?"

Nothing much Baywatch, unless you count dodging a good 30+ goons on the way up here."

"Guys, no bickering." Robin had a plan quickly form in his mind, but it would need to happen fast. "Artemis, I need you to use the smoke as a distraction to get into the bio-ship and maneuver it over KF and I. Move!"

When the green-clad archer was on her way KF and Robin shared a knowing look. This hadn't gone to plan at all. They both knew it would be close getting onto the bio-ship without getting shot. The smoke screen would only hold together so long and KF was going to need to helped aboard. Before either boy could speak the entrance to the bio-ship materialized 12 feet to their rear. Moving as fast as they could KF leaned heavily on Robin as they limped their way to the bio-ship.

Unfortunately KF's femur took that opportunity to go from a crack to a fully blown break and the ginger speedster crumpled to the ground as the goons behind them opened fire. Robin retreated to cover trying to think of a way to save his best friend. Taking stock of his weapons he found he ahd exhausted his supply of bird-a-rangs and smoke pellets and he knew he only had two options. Run and safe himself or grab Wally and hope the bad guys have god awful aim.

Wally knew what his friend was going to do even before he did. He couldn't let Robin sacrifice himself so when the ninja prepared to move the speedster yelled loudly, "Rob, save yourself! Get to the bio-ship."

"I'm not leaving you KF!"

"You better bird boy!"

The two boys silently stared at one another as the bad guys approached from the rear. Assessing the situation KF looked over to Robin and smiled before yelling in a horrid Austrian accent, "RUN! GO! GET TO DA CHOPPA!"

Blinking several times Robin struggled to make sense of his teammates outburst, but upon registering what KF had said the Boy Wonder curled into a ball of laughter as the scenario around the team phased out of existence replaced by a very irate Batman and Black Canary standing over the two teen boys. Apparently these scenarios were supposed to be taken more seriously.

"KF, I think you need to lay off the movie quotes on missions."

"Dude, if I stop who'll be the comic relief?"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and if you've got any suggestions for another entry feel free to drop it in the comments! I've got a bunch done since I'm moving this from FF.net, but I'd love to hear what people think!


	3. Kaldur Loves TLOTR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a battle against the Riddler, Kaldur'ahm shows his affection for a certainly literary and cinematic epic.

**Gotham City – 6:15 p.m.**

In the midst of battle Kaldur'ahm was usually not one for humor. After all, he was the leader and he knew the team would look to him for stability. Wally was usually the member of the young team to ease the tension of any given situation. Yet he could not have passed up the opportunity for a laugh on today's mission, despite it having gone so completely sideways. Then again no one, not even Batman had expected a whole host of Gotham's villains to be assisting The Riddler with his latest heist.

* * *

**15 minutes ago**

"When is a prizefight like a beautiful lady?" The Riddler's annoyingly high pitched and whiny voice rang out through the main entrance hall of the museum. He was perched high in the rafters having just escaped the initial assault from Kid Flash. While the team regrouped below Edward Nygma simply smiled his devious smile and waited for an answer.

Using the psychic link Kaldur quickly took charge of the situation turning to the youngest member of the team, _Robin, how do you suggest we proceed? He is your villain after all._

_Oh Nygma? Just let him spout a riddle or two, don't answer, he'll get frustrated and then do something stupid. Which is, of course when we'll swoop in and collar him._

_Understood,_ Taking stock of the surrounding structure Aqualad formed a plan in his mind. _Artemis, you and Robin take strategic points on his flank, be prepared for any assailants Riddler may have hired. Miss Martian, try to get above him. Superboy will toss both Kid Flash and myself toward the Riddler when you are all in position._

A chorus of agreements was heard as the team moved to their respective positions. They didn't get very far from Aqualad before they heard Riddler's next outburst, "Perhaps you didn't hear me. When is a prizefight like a beautiful lady? It's quite simple I assure you."

When Riddler noticed M'gann's imperfect camouflage his eyes sparkled as his loudly answered his own Riddle, "When it's a knockout!"

As he delivered the punch line a deafening explosion shook the wall and a stream of ice soon followed, knocking M'gann to the ground before the team could react.

"Room for one more?" The accented voice of Mr. Freeze echoed through the museum as he came through the hole carrying what looked to be a bag of precious gems over his shoulder. His two-handed launcher began to pulse, signaling it was ready to fire again.

 _Team, move!_ Kaldur's orders spurred the heroes to action. Robin launched several bird-a-rangs towards Mr. Freeze's helmet, all of which were frozen in mid-air by Gotham pre-eminent ice villain. Atremis' arrows met the same fate as did Superboy who used his favorite tactic, the bull rush.

Seeing as how water was quite easy to freeze Kaldur did not wish to use his most innate ability and instead chose a different course of action. He, Kid Flash, Robin and Artemis all charged the more powerful at the last minute. With each member's abilities it appeared that Freeze would succumb to the superior numbers, but that was not to be the case. Darkness engulfed the four heroes and Freeze himself. When it passed the heroes found Freeze was no longer where he had been.

The ice villain was now standing near the exit with a new comer to the battle. The man was dressed in a black nylon suit with a monocle and black top hat.

Freeze did not look pleased with the man, "What took you so long Shade?"

The black clad man responded quickly, never taking his eyes off the group of heroes who were attempting to creep up on the villains, "I got Riddler's message only moments ago my friend. You are quite lucky I got it at all."

Kaldur seized the moment and vaulted himself between the villains and street, hoping to cut off their exit while his team came up from behind. This, however, only made the man known as Shade laugh.

"Boy, you cannot hope to stop me!"

"Shade, you shall not pass!"

Raising his black cane Shade once again engulfed the room in blackness, but not before Kaldur could react and attempt to stop the villain's escape.

Raising his hands forward and charging his tattoos Kaldur summoned water from the fire hydrant on the street and as much electrical energy as possible. Creating a shield of water over the wall Aqualad then electrified the field, which successfully disrupted Shade's ability while also causing him to fall unconscious from the electrical blast.

Within seconds both Shade and Mr. Freeze were on the floor, surrounded by the team of heroes smiling triumphantly.

Wally, of course, was the first to speak, "Yo Aqualad, you know you just quoted Gandalf right?"

The team was unaware the Kaldur had actually seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy several times in its entirety and the extended cuts version as well. Aqualad attempted, unsuccessfully, to hold back a laugh, "I am aware."

There were several seconds of silence after that break in Kaldur's usually stoic demeanor. The silence was followed by fits laughter from various members of the team.

The laughter was short lived as Robin noticed a small problem with the situation, "Uh guys, where's Riddler?"

Just then M'gann stirred from her unconscious state and saw the two villains on the floor, both of which were not present when she fell unconscious to the ground. "So what did I miss?"

* * *

**So what did you think? The line was from Lord of the Rings and if you didn't know that I may feel the need to pray for your soul. I'm also considering making a list of movies you should all see, but needless to say if you haven't seen the movies I post stories about on here you should drop whatever you are doing and watch them, all of them.**

**Just like last time I am still taking suggestions for famous movie quotes. I'd prefer they be used in a comedic fashion, though a little tragedy can be done as well. Also, if you've got an idea for a scenario the line could be used in PM me or drop it in the comments!**


	4. Liam Neeson Rules!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is quite self explanatory.

**Mount Justice**

It had been a very frustrating day for the world's fastest teen. For starters Superboy's shower blew a the fuse to the water heater which meant everyone else had to deal with a very cold shower. No one in the cave cooked breakfast as M'gann was on vacation to Mars with J'onn. There were no missions from Batman for the day and it had been 13 days and 7 hours since their last one (not that Wally was keeping track). Artemis had decided to enter one her cold and distant modes. But the real kicker came around noon. Wally had been out for a run around Happy Harbor and was going to take a nap after lunch. When he entered his room, however, all thoughts of sweet and glorious nap time were chased from his mind by shock and then followed pure unbridled rage. Someone had broken into his room rigged up a slime bucket to fall on his head when he entered! What was worse was the fact that the culprit set up a timed glitter explosion for two seconds later that covered the red hair from head to toe with glitter. The only sound Wally heard was a faint cackle, which gave him more than enough of a clue as to the person responsible for this heinous act.

The only problem was figuring out a way to pay Robin back in kind. Now Wally wasn't one to set up extremely elaborate pranks that would take days to set up. And besides, Robin would see it coming a mile away. He was, after all, the protégé to Batman. So Wally just decided on the next best thing: messing with Robin for the next 24 hours just to see how made he could make the young acrobat.

He found Robin sitting on the couch watching Team USA beating Spain in the men's Olympic basketball final. Before Wally could address his currently most hated teammate/best friend a chirping sound was heard coming from Robin's position. Robin bolted upright on the couch and pulled out a red and black phone. Hanging back for a quick second Wally waited for the boy to answer the phone.

"Hey what's up Ba-" Robin never got to finish he statement as a red and yellow blur grabbed the phone and was back in the kitchen. Robin sprang from the couch and pursued the phone-napper. Reaching the kitchen in near record time he heard Wally talking on the phone in a deep raspy voice, as though he was trying to impersonate someone.

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

Having finished his monologue Wally hung up the phone and turned to find Robin directly behind him. Wally just shrugged and tossed the phone at Robin, who surprisingly wasn't even mad; in fact he had a devious glint in his eyes and mischievous smile plastered on his face. This unnerved Wally quite a lot as it was never good when Robin had that stupid grin on his face.

"Uh, Rob? Something you wanna tell me?"

No Wallman, except for the fact that you just stole my emergency bat-phone, gave Batman the monologue from Taken, and then hung up on him. Yeah, other than that I've got nothing to say."

Hearing Robin's statement only made Wally think one thing, _Shit!_

* * *

**Hours later in the Batcave**

Bruce greeted Dick when he entered the Batcave with a simple question, "What happened with Wally?"

"Oh, he's convinced you're going to murder him in his sleep. I just didn't see fit to tell him you were calling me on the emergency phone since mine regular phone was busted and you were ordering take out for the ride home in the Bat Plane. The look on his face was priceless!"

Bruce just gave one single solitary laugh, "You know I saw the movie Wally was quoting. Liam Neeson was quite convincing in the film, almost reminded me of Ra's al Ghul a little bit."

"Really?"

"Yes, the resemblance was uncanny, though the character was much different."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liam Neeson is a complete and utter badassl! Like I mentioned when you comment on these one-shots leave suggestions for quotes or movies to pull quotes from. Thanks!


	5. Epic Movie Mash-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Wally show M'gann and Conner exactly how awesome movies can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoever gives me the four movies I drew quotes from will get an over the internet fist bump and a cookie. Technically there are five movies, but two are from the same series so just name the movie universe and I'm cool with it.

 

* * *

**Mount Justice - Sometime in August  
**

The team was bored. So very, very, very bored. It had been weeks since they had a mission, yet everyday they would all congregate in Mount Justice hoping for a call from Batman or RT, or any of their mentors for a mission. Yet the call never came, which gave the team plenty of time to mess around on the beach, go to the local mall, head to the theatre or just generally enjoy their break from school. Today however, was not one of their regular days. A late season storm had blown in from the ocean and was wreaking havoc on Happy Harbor. Nearly everyone had shown up just before the storm hit and as none of them bothered to check the weather they unexpectedly found themselves stuck indoors.

They could have watched a movie, but Wally didn't want to watch one without ordering pizza. Artemis was just fed up with movies altogether and was sitting in her room doing God knows what. Superboy couldn't have cared less about anything. M'gann just spent the time in the kitchen while Kaldur was still down in Atlantis. They were all sitting on the couch when their youngest members came rushing into the living area from his room carrying several tube shaped objects that gave all the members of the team but Wally pause.

"Dude, are you serious right now?" Seeing what the Boy wonder was carrying Wally's eyes widened considerably.

"Do you doubt me KF?" A mischievous smile was playing across Robin's face.

"Never, bro. Never." KF got up off the couch he was lying across and began walking towards his teammate as Robin handed one of the objects to the speedster.

Connor watched the conversation and was a little lost, "Uh guys, what exactly are you guys planning?"

Both Wally and Robin looked at each for a couple seconds before rounding on Superboy and exclaiming at precisely the same time, "Lightsaber duel!"

The words had no effect on the Superboy who just stared at his teammates like they had two heads. His reaction, however, would not deter the younger boys.

"Dude, you just watch and learn Supey!" KF and Robin extended the collapsible lightsabers and began racing around the room taking swipes at one another until Robin put up his hand stopping Wally.

"Walls it's time for a duel."

Wally took on a very serious look and both boys took a fencing stance. Superboy was very confused when Wally put a finger over his mouth in a type of mustache gesture and spoke, "My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."

A small snicker was heard from Robin as both began their simulated fight to the death. They were slashing and stabbing with no one gaining the upper hand until the speedster caught Robin's arm with his off hand. As he was about to strike an exclamation from Robin stopped him in his tracks.

"I am your father!"

Wally froze at the statement and dropped his blade as he sunk to his knees. As his arms fell to his side and raised his head back in mock shock/sadness, "NOOOOO!"

"Search your feelings Luke; you know it to be true." Robin had regained his footing and advanced on Wally.

Wally went from a look of sadness to pure anger as he hopped quickly back to his feet as he yelled back at Robin, "You can't handle the truth!"

Both boys resumed fighting as a very perplexed Superboy continued to observe. He could follow the fighting well enough, but the conversation was completely foreign to the demi-Kryptonian. He also wanted to know why Wally kept spouting that Robin killed his father.

Robin had gained the advantage by this point in the death match as Wally's weapon had been ripped from his hand as the Boy Wonder stood over him with his hand aimed at Wally in the shape of a gun. Robin's voice was raspy and deep as he spoke.

"Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking punk. You're thinking did he fire six shots or only five? And to tell you the truth I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum - the most powerful hand gun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question -Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?"

M'gann picked that exact moment to enter the room and dropped her plate of cookies upon hearing Robin's threat to a still lying on the ground Wally. The distraction drew the attention of Robin who failed to stop Wally from grabbing his ligthsaber and stabbing him in the shoulder, causing the lightsaber to collapse in on itself. M'gann screamed as Robin hit the floor, thinking that Wally had just actually stabbed Robin.

"Wally! Did you kill him?" M'gann was standing distraught over her friends body. Wally for his part just looked on amusedly. Superboy was just now getting done processing Robin's threat and looked up to find Robin lying on the ground.

"Well, he's only mostly dead M'gann." Wally tried to hide his laughter from the Martian girl.

"How is that different from actually dead Wally?" M'gann was starting to tear up as she was still clueless that it was all fake.

"Mostly dead, well, you can fix that. All dead, there's only one thing you can do. Go through their pockets and look for loose change." M'gann gasped at Wally's inappropriateness.

"Wally, how can we save him?"

No one spoke for several seconds until Robin suddenly screamed from the floor, "Use the force, M'gann!"

Seeing Robin screaming shocked the hell out of the Martian girl and only further confused Connor, though it made Wally double over in laughter. Robin jumped to his feet and turned to M'gann and Connor.

"Alright, from now until school starts you two," Dick pointed at both the Martian and the Superboy, "are now enrolled in Robin and Kid Flash's school for movies and childhood experiences. We will start precisely in one hour."

Wally and Dick turned to leave before Wally turned to face the two dumbstruck superheroes.

He spoke deeply and slowly as though he was threatening his teammates, "Bring popcorn."

And with that both boys left to go grab their favorite movies from their rooms.

* * *


	6. Jaws meets Employee of the Months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This outing has three quotes. The first is from Jaws and the second is from Employee of the Month. The last is from the DC comic's movie/graphic novel, The Losers.

 

* * *

**Mount Justice - 5:30 p.m.  
**

"This an Omega Level alert." With those words Batman's booming voice was across all JL frequencies across the world, "All available personnel are to report in for deployment assignment."

When the call came into Mount Justice the team immediately sprang into action. While M'gann prepped the bio-ship everyone else got into their uniforms and grabbed their gear. When everyone was loaded into the ship Kaldur contacted Batman for their assignment.

The Injustice League was at it again. This time out they were attempting to cause earthquakes in all the major cities around the globe to demand a currently untold sum of money. The team's target city would be Orlando, Florida. Upon arrival they would be assisting refugee transport to get the most heavily populated areas of the city evacuated. It took the team just over 20 minutes to arrive on site, but they honestly weren't expecting the hundreds of thousands of massed people who had congregated in a local park and the surrounding streets.

With M'gann trying to find a place to land no one spoke, that is, until Wally had a line from Jaws run through his head.

"We're gonna need a bigger bio-ship."

Every member of the team just rolled their eyes at the speedster's latest attempt to lighten the mood by quoting a movie most of them hadn't seen.

* * *

**9:00 p.m.**

After a few hours of transporting people away from the city there was only one load left to take before they would move on to their next target city if the Justice League didn't find the villains responsible. It just so happened that this last group had one of the biggest hero haters the teens had ever seen. He was roughly 5'9" and a little overweight. When the team attempted to give instructions to the crowd he stepped forward.

"You heroes are to blame. You're the ones that cause all the problems. How many of your own villains were caused by you?!" Growing even more angry the man picked up a rock at his feet and threw it. The rock hit the bio-ship and didn't so much as leave a scratch, though that didn't stop the Wall-man from responding the only way he knew how.

Making his voice as deep as he could Wally bellowed, "This is a '81 bio-ship! How dare you!"

Super-speeding over to the instigator Wally placed a piece of duct tape over his mouth, much to the joy of the team and the remaining crowd.

Robin came up to the man and placed his hand on Wally's shoulder, "There are few things in life that a liberal application of duct tape can't solve."

* * *


	7. Space Jam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot of fun for me to write seeing as how the line comes from one of my all-time favorite movies when I was a kid: Space Jam! That and it was spouted during the movie by one my favorite comedic actors and you'll see who he is in a minute or two. This is set at the beginning of Season 2 just after the invasion was discovered.

**January 4th, 2016 – 7:00 p.m.**

**Palo Alto, CA**

The Krolotean invasion was not going well for the Justice League. The little green devils had managed to capture and replace a lot of influential people since their arrival some time ago. And while the League had managed to destroy the zeta platforms they still had to round up the individual Kroloteans that had gone into hiding. Given the aliens proclivity for abducting high profile humans the team was given a list of people to survey and check out. While the newbies got some lower value targets Nightwing kept the best for himself and the rest of the original members of the team. Though mostly Dick did it just so he and Wally could actually meet some of the people on the list.

Arriving in Palo Alto, CA Dick vaulted in through an unlocked window to find his best friend sitting on the couch watching _Psych._ Wally didn't even stir as Nightwing approached, which was all that the ninja needed to sneak up and scare the bejesus out of his friend. Crouching low Dick maneuvered himself right behind the couch ready to pounce on the speedster.

"Hey Dick, what brings you around?" Artemis had arrived and spotted Dick, effectively spoiling the hero's attempt.

"What the hell, dude?" Wally was none too pleased that Dick had broken in yet again.

"You know, you are a spoil sport Artemis." Dick put on a look of fake dejection as though scaring Wally was all he had wanted to do this evening.

"Well, I can't have you giving my boyfriend a heart attack. That's my job now."

"What's that supposed to mean, babe?"

"Nothing Baywatch. But seriously Dick, what brings you around?"

"Well, I've got a small observation mission that requires Wally's presence."

"Dick, you know me and Wally quit. How can you expect us to come back out of the blue?"

"Well Arty, I'm actually hear just for Wally. The target is kind of important to both Wally and me."

"Dude, Arty's right. This would have to be very important for me to put on the suit."

"Trust me on this one, it's that important." Dick was pleading with his friend to go without making him tell, it would really ruin the surprise.

"Prove it." At Wally's demand Dick handed him a slip of paper with the target's name and Wally's eyes immediately bulged out noticeably.

"Arty, babe, I need to go do this. Right now. Stay here and I'll get my suit." Wally super sped away leaving Dick in the living room with Artemis who was less than enthused.

"So, who's the target?"

"Tell you when we get back." And with one of his trademark grins he made a hasty escape to his waiting motorcycle.

/~\

**Hollywood, CA – 7:45 p.m.**

Less than an hour later Nightwing and Kid Flash were back in action. Artemis was quite peeved when the boys left without even telling her the plan, though Nightwing had told her not to freak out too much while they were gone. Not that that was going to do much good to calm the hot-headed archer.

Currently both men were perched in an old oak tree on the property of one of Hollywood's biggest stars. Apparently some of the higher-ups in the League believed that with Americans fascination with celebrity culture the aliens may have chosen to replace certain key celebrities. The boys' current target had recently begun acting oddly, much more so that he usually did so he was target number one. That and there was also the fact that he was easily near the top of the list of people that both Dick and Wally wanted to meet.

The man in question had just stepped out of his house and headed for the car. When he pulled out of the driveway the heroes jumped into action gaining access easily enough into the basement. Wally could barely contain his excitement.

"Dude, I can't believe we're in his house!"

Dick just smiled, trying unsuccessfully mask his own jovial attitude, "I know, but we can revel in his greatness later. We go through the house, scan for any oddities or alien tech, and get out."

Nodding KF pulled down his goggles and sped through the house, stopping once he ran into the basement. The infra-red vision on his goggles picked up a heat signature behind the south wall, suggesting a false wall that they would have to go through.

"Uh, Nightwing, I need you in the basement pronto."

"On my way."

With Dick on route from the top floor of the house Wally went to work examining the wall. Just as Dick reached the bottom of the stairs the speedster found a part of the wall that looked as though it was extending too far out. Naturally Wally felt the urge to press and with an audible click a small door collapsed backward and then slide to the side allowing the two access to the hidden compartment.

The cramped hallway, seeing as how the Kroloteans were exceedingly small, was hard to navigate, but soon opened up into a larger room. A room that held a cage full of people, much like the ones held at the zeta platform sites. This cage, however, held only one man. One man that both Wally and Dick recognized immediately.

"Bill Murray!" Both shouted loudly seeing one of their idols in the flesh. Even though they were idols to a lot of people themselves there was something about meeting one of your favorite actors that just made both giddy with excitement.

Neither would get the chance to get up and close and personal with the esteemed actor just yet as the two must have somehow tripped an alarm seeing as how multiple Kroloteans were streaming in from behind them while shouting something in their bizarre language. The two heroes engaged the aliens and were swiftly kicking their miniature behinds. Wally, as per his normal modus operandi, couldn't help himself from spouting one-liners during the fight.

Advancing on the last of the Kroloteans Wally made several punching fakes with his left arm, "I'm going this way! I'm going left!"

And he promptly knocked out the alien with a blow from his right, "Don't ever trust an Earthling!"

Standing over the fallen aliens triumphantly Dick's voice brought the speedster back to reality, "KF, I don't think they understood a word you said."

"Yeah," Bill Murray spoke from the cage several feet away, "and it was my line anyway!"

**-Fin**

* * *

****


	8. Robin Takes His Hair Gel Seriously

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin runs out of hair gel, what follows boggles the mind of one Wally West.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a lot shorter, but I did only want to include the line from O, Brother Where Art Though? It's a hilarious take on Homer's The Odyssey and I highly recommend you all watch it. Plus I couldn't help but throw in a line from Airplane!

**Gotham City - 6:30 p.m.  
**

Richard John Grayson was annoyed to say the least. Pissed off might be a closer term to his current mood. Wally had talked him into seeing a movie in civvies. This wasn't bad in and of itself, but it meant going out in public which meant he had to lather on the hair gel to ensure the visual barrier between his hero-self and civilian-self remained intact. It was a tedious routine, but Bruce had yet to budge on letting Dick out of the house without protecting every little detail about his identity. Dick understood that well enough, but there was a problem with that plan: He was out of hair gel.

So Dick and Wally had to head out quicker than planned to the nearest store to find some hair gel for the ninja. They were rummaging through the personal hair care isle in a frantic pace as they feared being late for the movie. Apparently there was supposed to be a trailer for the new Superman movie coming out and Dick had wanted to wait to see it on the big screen before hacking the producer's database and getting the file himself. The boys were growing increasingly frustrated as their efforts failed to find Dick's preferred brand of gel.

Wally, wanting to leave as soon as possible turned to his black haired friend, "Dude, just this buy Axe stuff and let's go!"

"I don't want AXE, I want Dapper Dan."

"Surely you can't be serious?"

"Yes, I am. And don't call me Shirely." Both boys shared a slight chuckle of their spontaneous  _Airplane!_  reference before returning to their task at hand.

"I don't think they carry Dapper Dan man, just take the AXE and we'll order some later."

"I don't want Axe goddamn it, I'm a Dapper Dan man!"

Just then an elderly lady rounded the corner to head down the aisle, "Now young man you better watch your mouth! This is a public market!"

Dick grumbled something incoherent to either Wally or the lady before swiping the AXE from Wally's still outstretched hand and moved swiftly to the checkout stand. Wally could only think one thing as they boys continued on their trek to the movies,  _Damn, Dick sure takes his hair gel seriously._

* * *

 


	9. The Losers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An adaptation of a hilarious scene from The Losers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the scene I'm riffing off from The Losers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI0anaLjLb0&feature=related
> 
> Enjoy!

**An Undisclosed Location - 7:30 p.m.**

One of the worst things a speedster could face is the realization that they're out of room to run. Which is, of course, the situation on Wallace West found himself in on the latest mission. While they'd often been given recon duty this time Batman had sent the teens on a intel retrieval. Rob's plan to get in and out of the underground structure quickly had up until this point gone swimmingly. The breakdown occurred right after Wally had managed to grad the flash drive from the computer in the main office and needless to say all hell did indeed break loose.

Finding his initial exit point blocked by three guards Wally radioed the team's tactician for assistance, "Uh, I need an exit." As he spoke the guards advanced to Wally in a rather menacing manner, "Like right now!"

"Chill KF." Robin's voice crackled over the communicator, "Circle around back to the elevator to the north. I'll have cover waiting."

Kid Flash took the route suggested by his long-time friend and found that in was indeed a clear path, but when he arrived at the elevator he encountered a problem. Punching the call button for the elevator proved to have no noticeable effect as the tiny moving room was on a level 13 floors up. Kicking himself for his bad luck he looked upward as though to scream at the deity that was assuredly laughing at the red-head's expense. Looking at the lofted ceilings Wally noticed something interesting before turning back to face the hallway.

The guards from earlier had followed Wally and all three had their pistols drawn on the speedster who dutifully put his hands in the air hoping that Robin truly did have cover waiting.

"Wow, this got serious."

Realizing that they were up against a meta-human of some kind the guards were hesitant to advance, which gave the ever imaginative Kid Flash an idea.

Moving his hands from above his head he quickly pointed them in a gun-shaped fashioned at the guards, "I'm warning you. I am a lethal killing machine. It was a secret government experiment."

Pausing for dramatic effect Wally took in the confused expressions of his would-be captors, "They did stuff to me; spooky stuff." Squinting as though trying to find the words to follow Wally continued, "Anal stuff. Turned me into a dangerous telekinetic. As the ancient Tibetan philosophy states: Don't start none, won't be none." Finishing his monologue Wally had a momentary spike in his confidence at it showed on his face further confusing the guards. Finally the leader pulled out his handcuffs before approaching Kid Flash.

"Telekinetic your way out of these."

Wally eyed the guard. Making a motion with his right hand as those he was shooting the guard he simultaneously screamed, "Pah!" And the guard dropped immediately to the ground.

This scared the holy hell out of the remaining guards who had stayed rooted in their positions. Wally looked at the guard and repeated the motion and yell with his left hand and again the guard dropped. Facing both pistol hands toward the middle guard Wally pulled out his best Clint Eastwood impression, "Face down, or I'll make your heart stop beating with my mind."

When the guard did as ordered Kid Flash turned to rafter and saluted, "Thank you Robin for that timely assistance."

Dropping from the shadows Robin held back a laugh, "Your welcome. And I love that we both thought of the same thing to do at the same time without M'gann's mental link."

At that moment the elevator dinged and the metal doors parted to allow entry. Wally hooked his right arm over his shorter friend's shoulder, "That my friend is the power and awesomeness of movies."

* * *


	10. The Losers Part Deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another scenario in which the team pulls out quotes from The Losers, and a little from The Avengers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quotes I pulled from this one are in this YouTube video at 1:32-1:38:
> 
> youtube.com/watch?v=g4NsB6eDQeM
> 
> I also pulled a few scenes from Avengers, though they aren't direct quotes. Enjoy!

**The Bio-ship - Somwhere over the Atlantic**  
6:30 p.m.  


After KF and Robin's successful trip into the underground LEX Corp. shell company the team managed to retrieve the information that Batman had requested. Luthor, or at the very least one of his overachieving yet morally corrupt scientists, had developed and were distributing high-grade detonation cord. This new stealth weapon was highly lethal and rumors of its potency were already sweeping through the black market. What made things more dire was that several shipments of the weapon had already been delivered to several mercenary groups around the globe. One such group, named Cryon, posed the biggest threat as they were primarily made up of ex-Marines, many of whom were discharged for psychiatric reasons. Essentially, as an organization they were a time-bomb with a rather impressive array of high-powered weaponry. Yet that in and of itself wasn't the nail in the coffin that had Batman concerned about their activities. What piqued the Bats interest was the Luthor himself had just hired the mercenaries through a myriad of fake businesses and fronts to complete an as of yet unknown mission. With that in mind Batman had the team suit-up and prepare to follow the mercs wherever they went.

After taking off in the bio-ship the four person team, consisting of Robin, Kid Flash, Artemis, and Superboy, made a cross Atlantic trip as Luthor had the mercs board a high-speed cargo jet in Maryland. It appeared the target area was a city in Africa, though Robin as the field leader did not yet know their final destination. Two hours into the flight Luthor's hired goons started their descent toward Nairobi, the capital of Kenya. Robin, being the most qualified pilot amongst the group, kept the ship in camo mode while the mercs streamed out of the plane along with convoy of vehicles, including an armored transport truck.

"So why exactly do we think Luthor brought these goons over to Kenya?" Wally, being perpetually uncomfortable with silence, felt the need to speak.

Robin checked something on his wrist computer and didn't look up while responding to Kid Flash's question, "Batman believes Luthor has a secret alliance with many government nations around the world. Luthor provides aid to their nation while their top scientists develop weapons in return. Luthor then turns around and sells the weapons or makes modifications with his own teams to turn an off the books profit."

"So he makes his money on the black market?" Robin's seemingly concise and accurate answer did little to quench the curiosity of the speedster.

"No, he is worth billions legitimately in the private sector. The League thinks Luthor is the money man for the Light, but there hasn't been any hard evidence, and that's where we come in tonight."

"Oh, got it." Satisfied with the answers Wally went silent just as the mercs boarded the truck and headed through the financial district before arriving at what looked to be a government compound of some kind.

20 minutes later the team of mercenaries came back out of the facility with several large crates which they loaded into their armored truck.

Robin squinted as the tactical gears in his mind begin whirring, "Alright, the target is the armored truck. We'll need a plan."

* * *

 

15 minutes later the truck was loaded the Cryon mercs were out of the government facility on route back to the airport they landed in. As the men in the convoy's lead car drove through the noisy business district of Nairobi they failed to hear the sound of a projectile hitting and attaching itself to the outside of their trunk. But they assuredly noticed the explosion second later as their rear end was engulfed in flames, effectively blocking any traffic from moving.

The men in the rear of the convoy did the only sensible thing and attempted to reverse down the street only to have the same fate as the lead car befall them. In the armored vehicle a previously unseen leader exited the rear of the vehicle before closing it behind him. In the smoke and confusion none of the mercs noticed a blonde girl and a hot dog eating, red-headed boy at the hot dog stand on the same block. IF they had they would have seen that the two teens were eerily calm about the events going on around them.

"Phase one complete Rob. Let's go with Phase Two. And these hot dogs are delicious!" Wally stuffed his third hot dog in his mouth while Artemis rolled her eyes at his predictability.

"Can it Kid Mouth!" Pulling a cross bow from the stand Artemis took aim at the back of the armored vehicle. Having recently watch The Losers with Rob and Wally she didn't even stop herself from quoting it just before firing, "That's right bitches, I got a crossbow."

Wally's jaw dropped at the uncharacteristic show of non-sarcastic humor from Artemis as the projectile hit the target and effectively sealed the back of the truck.

Artemis's actions didn't go unnoticed this time around and soon the mercs had regrouped and those still standing armed themselves while the man who exited the armored truck moments ago approached the two teens. The mercs had little knowledge of the man's credentials, only that Luthor gave him explicit command of this unit. The heroes on the other hand had deal with this personal villain before.

"Kobra!" Artemis immediately recognized the villain the team fought on Santa Prisca when he stepped though the smoke. The archer quickly fired an arrow at the grey-skinned baddie only to have it snatched out of the air. Seeing her opponents reflexes Artemis knew here arrows would do no good so she simply chose to take stock of the situation, waiting until Kobra made the first move. Predictably the villain chose to gloat in his monotonous voice.

"Why do you not flee child. You are but an ordinary human."

"Well that's the thing about humans. We tend to cling to lost causes."

"Child even if you were to defeat me what then? I have an army." Gesturing to the men surrounding him Kobra felt and acted quite confident in his position.

Artemis simply shrugged her shoulders as though she hadn't a care in the world, "We have a speedster." As if on cue a red and yellow blur flew around the field and came to a quick stop next to Artemis. KF dropped all the weapons he had collected from the quite confused mercenaries who were quite certain they were armed a second ago.

This greatly agitated Kobra, who viewed himself above such petty engagements, "Enough! I am god among men and who will suffer for your insolence!" Kobra prepared to leap at the duo, but was caught completely off guard as Superboy lept from the building and landed directly on the snake-themed villain's back. Rolling towards his friends Superboy turned to face Kobra who had begun to pick himself up off the cracked pavement. Taking advantage of his enemies vulnerability Connor grabbed Kobra by the ankle and spun 720 degrees before launching Kobra into the near wall. This time Kobra didn't get up, he simply coughed dust before noticeably slumping into unconsciousness.

Connor, attempting to cash in on his experience gained in Wally and Robin's movie boot camp, simply exhaled heavily before speaking, "Puny god." He turned to see Wally's eyes were watering as the speedster called Robin.

"Please tell me you heard all that?"

"I did KF, I don't think I've ever been more proud in my life." With his superhearing Connor could make out Robin's voice. It sounded as though he was sad only it seemed to Superboy that he and Wally were doing it as a joke of some kind.

"Me either. Our little Superboy is all grown up and quoting movies all on his own now. It seemed just like yesterday he'd never seen Star Wars and now he's spouting Avenger's quotes like a pro!" Wally wiped a fake tear from his eye.

Artemis, completely ignoring the tied up mercenaries in the middle of the street, smacked the speedster on the back of the head, "What about me? I specifically quote The Losers and no one even notices!"Wally, shockingly, just sped over to Artemis's left side and patted on her on the back, "Oh I definitely noticed babe, but stick with me and you'll find a whole new world of one liners will open up to you."

The team went about securing the prisoners and then boarded the bio-ship before Robin piloted the Martian craft over the armored truck and configured the ship to attach of a two cable around the ground vehicle.


	11. Airplane!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally fins out he's going on a mission in Gotham.

* * *

**The Batcave – 7:18 p.m.**

Wally had only been Kid Flash less than a year and already developed a close relationship with the first Justice League sidekick, Robin. It was probably fair to say that the two were best friends in their young age, with Robin even telling Wally his secret identity. The downside was that as he knew the Bat family identities Batman had threatened him with extreme violence if he ever told anyone what he knew. Being friends as well heroes Dick and Wally often swapped tales of their cities respective villains, or rogues as KF referred to them. The horror stories Dick had already told Wally about Gotham cared the bejesus out of him to tell the truth, which was why at the current moment Kid Flash was currently trying not to wet himself in front of Batman.

For some reason, that KF had not been given, Batman had allowed Flash and Wally into Gotham for a team-up mission with Batman and Robin. It had something to do with a connection between Joker and Captain Cold. The current intimidating force in Wally's life was Batman as he briefed the Flashes on the current intelligence and plan of attack. Remembering what Dick had told him about the Joker sent shivers up and down Wally's spine as he pictured the Clown Prince of Crime in action in his mind. Needless to say, when Dick popped up sneakily beside Wally the speedster nearly had a heart attack.

"So, you freaking out yet?" Robin didn't look away from Batman as he spoke to his friend.

"Little bit, probably a good thing though."

"True, wouldn't want to go face off the with the Joker without feeling nervous. Overconfidence would and has killed people who try to beat him."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but don't worry about him. Batman and I will take care of the clown, you and Flash will take Cold and we'll call it a night. And from what Bats said yesterday, if this goes well he might have a few more missions you'd be allowed to help with this week if you want in. Don't tell him I said that though."

While Wally was certainly on edge over the possibility of taking on the Joker in Gotham City he was feeling a little more confident after his chat with Robin. And despite his nagging nervousness he fell back on his old habit of defusing tension by quoting random movie lines. This time he picked a comedy classic that he and Dick had watched over the summer.

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking."

Unfortunately he uttered those words right as Batman finished briefing Flash, meaning that the Dark Knight had only heard that last snippet of conversation. He was less than pleased to hear that Wally wasn't taking the situation more seriously, even more disturbed at the notion of Wally consuming alcohol. It was only after an exasperated Flash managed to explain to Batman why Wally usually tried to lighten the mood that Kid Flash was allowed to stay on the mission.

* * *


	12. Dirty Harry Die's Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy gets caught in a dangerous situation while on a solo mission.

* * *

**Star City - 11:49 p.m.  
**

Roy Harper wasn't one to cut and run, which is how the crimson archer found himself in a 72 story structure in the middle of downtown Star City. With GA attending to the matter of the original Roy still in the hospital in a coma Red Arrow was in charge of nightly patrols for the week. Just after starting his patrol Roy noticed an old acquaintance of Jade's, Black Spider, crawling around an abandoned warehouse. Getting the feeling that something big was going down Roy pursued the target without drawing his attention. Jade had taught him a few of the Shadows techniques and coupling that with his training from GA had made Roy one very stealthy man. He tracked Spider into a 72 story skyscraper all the way up to the 67th floor which was currently under renovation.

In his excitement of catching a member of the Shadows Roy made a critical mistake and followed his target too closely. When Spider heard Roy's footsteps behind him he quickly whipped around and spotted the archer, who froze like a deer in the headlights for a millisecond before springing into action. Roy figured he could still take Spider one-on-one and moved in an elevated position between floors as the ceilings on the floor had been stripped for wiring. What he didn't figure was that Black Spider wasn't alone.

Roy stayed on his perch as he heard the elevator doors ding, signaling new arrivals. Unfortunately for the clone the arrivals were decidedly hostile in nature. Six League of Shadow guards stepped out of the elevator before a very well dressed man stepped out of the elevator car. Straightening his tie the man nodded to the guards, two of whom went to fetch Black Spider. Four more went to take positions at the lone stairwell while the other two stayed with the mysterious man. Seeing all this go down made Roy grow very uneasy given his situation. He was outnumbered eight to one and not in a position to easily escape. He was two high-up on the building to escape out the window and safely use a grappling arrow and the stairs weren't an option with four goons guarding. If he had the element of surprise he could get past them, but he was sure that Spider had informed the Shadows of his presence by now. His suspicions were confirmed as Spider stood in front of the man in the suit.

"The hero is still in the building. I believe it is the clone of Roy Harper."

"You have done well Spider." The man in suit spoke with a noticeable, yet subtle, German accent. "We will recapture the clone and he will be re-programmed to serve the League of Shadows. A man of his skills could be very useful."

"How do you wish to engage him?"

"Oh, I believe the archer is already well aware of the situation. He is heavily outnumbered and we know his location. It is only a matter of time until we capture him."

Roy took all this information in and contemplated his various options. It certainly wasn't looking good at the current moment. Roy knew he needed to move and get as many of the goons into one location as he could. He had a few tricks still in his quiver. For the next several minutes Roy maneuvered around the interior of the building while the grunts bellows followed the orders of the German

The German stood near the elevator and reached for a radio on one of the Shadow guards before addressing Spider, "Have you patched into the speaker system?"

When Spider answered with a curt nod the German pushed the talk button on the radio, "I'm speaking now to the self-proclaimed 'hero' within this building." Pausing in his speech the German reveled in the fact that he had the upper hand in this engagement, "We have you surrounded. Surrender now and you will be allowed to live. Do not comply and you will be killed slowly and painfully."

After the last word from the German silence hung in the air as Roy maneuvered into position above the stairwell door. The guards were on high alert, but had failed to look up into the interconnecting beams in the ceiling. If they had the four men would have seen that the archer had notched a flash-bang arrow and was pointing it straight at their feet. Seeing as they failed to notice the archer, they were quite confused when the arrow found its target. They men barely had time to react when the arrow audibly clicked and exploded in a ball of light and sound. Roy, however, was prepared for the blast and swept in to corral the baddies in to a nice and neat bundle for the cops. Staring at the door Red Arrow realized he had a chance to escape without having to engage Spider, four guards, and an unknown Shadows operative. The unknown operative gave Roy the most pause. If he hadn't heard of the man then the German was either new at the job or skilled enough to have stayed literally hidden in the shadows his whole life. Roy was inclined to think the later, but he never was known to run from a fight when he still had some fight left in him. Picking up a radio from an unconscious goon Red Arrow worked his back to the elevator shaft.

The German and the rest of the Shadows heard the sorry excuse for a fight at the stairwell door. When they heard no shots being fired by their own men the guards grew nervous. The German was not about to let the hero dictate the terms of the battle.

Raising the radio again he spoke to Roy, "You Americans are all alike. Your bravado and overconfidence will be your downfall Mr. Harper. Your John Wayne cowboy and Indian style antics do not amuse me."

"I was always kind of partial to Roy Rodgers actually." Roy walked around the corner with his bow raised an arrow pulled back ready to launch toward the six men.

Tossing the radio the German snarled at Roy, "Even you are not foolish enough to take us on like this. Lower your weapon boy."

Roy just stared straight at the German, "Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker." The archer let his arrow fly and on impact it released the Arrow family's patented restraint foam thereby trapping all six men in its confines.

Walking toward the villains Roy noticed that one of the guards wasn't fully covered in the foam. His left arm and leg were still free along with the gun in the man's hip holster. While the guard fumbled for the pistol Roy calmly notched an arrow and pointed it at the man's face.

"Go ahead," Roy's eyes burned with determination as he continued, "make my day."

The Shadow guard promptly places his hands above his head.

* * *


	13. Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team's rookie initiation upsets the sleeping Green Lantern.

* * *

**Mount Justice - Saturday, 3:10 p.m.**

"Guys, stop it!" Jaime Reye's voice rang out from within a locker in the team's locker room.

"Sorry rookie, it's just the way it's got to be." Artemis smiled cruely as she, Dick, Tim, Connor, and Garfield continued pouring foam shaving cream into the same locker as Jaime.

The sound of the young heroes had, unbeknownst to them, awakened their weekly"den mother". While the team was mostly already at or near adulthood Batman had still insisted on having a rotating League member be on standby at Mount Justice. This week Jon Stewart had drawn the short straw, much to the annoyance and dismay of the ex-Marine. It wasn't than Jon inherently disliked the young heroes in the field, it was that in their downtime they were the epitome of "hard to handle". With today being no different Green Lantern rose from his nap on the couch and made his way to the sound of the noisy teens.

In the past four years Jon had generally become accostumed to their various antics of the team, but when he reached the locker room the sight that greeted him threw the elder hero for a loop. With a locker stood Jaime Reyes, the teams newest addition and the second Blue Bettle. That alone wasn't the problem. The issue was that the locker was filled to the brim and then some with foam shaving cream. Five teens/young adults stood outside the locker gloating in their success until Jon interuppted them, "What the heck is going on in here?"

Most of the teens jumped, though Dick and Tim had alread detected Jon with their ninjaness. Dick, ever the quick-thinking leader was the first to respond, "Oh nothing, just some harmless shenannigans."

Jon stared at Nightwing for several long seconds before responding dryly, "I can see that, but did you have to be so damn loud?"

"Well, sir," Tim, taking a cue from his 'brother' answered first, "shenannigans do tend to be very loud."

Barely holding back a smirk Connor was next to keep up the running gag, "Yeah, shenannigans by their very definition have to be quite loud. Otherwise, what's the point?"

Putting on his best pout face Garfield whined, "You wouldn't deprive us of our shenannigans, would you GL?"

Dick, now visibily laughing, was determined to keep the joke rolling, "I mean, heroing is very stressful. If we didn't have our shenannigans how would we cope?"

Tim was about to speak, but was cut off by Jon, "Enough!" Raising his charged power ring in an uppecut fashion toward his face Jon glowered menacingly at the team, "I swear to God I'm going to ring-whip the next person who says 'shenannigans'."

The room was silent for a few seconds until Wally sped into the locker area. Dick, sensing an opportuniy, couldn't help but ask, "Hey Wally! What's that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?"

"You mean Shenannigans?"

"OOOOOOOO!" The perpatrators, and Jaime, all gasped and pointed from Jon to Wally. The speedster was quite confused by his teammate's reactions and his eyes widened when GL walked slowly towards him with a fully charged and glowing power ring.

* * *


	14. You Can't Handle the Truth!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Superboy wants the truth about what happened to his phone.

* * *

**Mount Justice  
**

Being a clone that was only a little over a year old meant that Connor didn't have many possessions. Sure he had some clothes, a League issued laptop, and some other odds and ends that people gave him to make his room more of a home for him. Canary, with GA's money, had given him a TV, though he rarely watched it. He preferred to sit in the den and let the static calm his mind. Wally had given him a Superman poster, though the clone had yet to put it up given the animosity between him and his genetic father. One of his other few possessions was a phone that Robin had given him on his first day as a resident of the cave. It was a prototype Waynetech design, one that wasn't supposed to be available on the market yet. Robin had a really complicated reason for having it, something about saving the CEO's ward several times and getting it as a gift. It was one of the few things he actually used and felt a connection to in his life. And he had lost it.

Connor had been driving himself crazy for the past two hours tearing up the cave trying to find it. Giving up his solo search Connor begrudgingly began looking for his teammates to enlist their help. He walked throughout the cavernous structure for over 15 minutes before final stumbling upon Robin in the kitchen. Connor hesitated before asking the Boy Wonder for his help, after all, he was the guy who gave him the phone to begin with.

"Uh, Rob?"

"What's up Supey?" Robin didn't even look up from constructing his ham and cheese sandwich.

"Remember that phone you gave me a few months back?"

"Yeah, what about it"

"I kind of lost it."

Connor had expected Robin to upset at his confession, but instead the acrobat continued making his sandwich as he spoke in a manner that suggested he was holding back laughter, "Well, I may or may not know the location of its current whereabouts."

Connor was just confused by Robin's vague statement, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, what do you think it means?" Robin answered slyly.

Growing frustrated with the little troll Connor got straight to the point, "I want the truth."

Robin took a bite of his sandwich before speaking, "You can't handle the truth!" Then the 14-year old ran past Superboy, turned the corner and was lost from sight. Connor stood motionless in the kitchen, completely thrown by what had just occurred. What he didn't know was that Robin was currently placing a new version of the phone on Superboy's desk with a note saying:

_Wally broke your phone, but I got a new one for you anyway. Try not to beat the ginger too badly._

* * *


	15. The Need for Speed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Wally channel their inner Goose and Maverick while playing sand volleyball.

* * *

"And that's game!"

Dick and Wally were thoroughly enjoying their free Saturday. Without any missions on the schedule the duo had challenged the team and members of the League to a doubles sand volleyball tournament. While the majority declined quickly the girlfriends of each hero were more than eager to take on the challenge. Being two varsity volleyball players they planned on an easier victory to put the boys in their place. What they failed to account for was the height of Dick Grayson.

Over the past year-and-a-half or so Dick had grown just about 14 inches, allowing him to tower of the girls on the other side of the net. Height is big factor in sand volleyball and while Zatanna and Artemis were no slouches athletically, they couldn't keep pace with Dick's leaping ability, height, and strength. In no time the boys had successfully completed a two game sweep. Feeling that they should reward themselves for their success by going to get a pizza.

Channeling his inner Maverick, Wally got as into character as he possibly could, "I feel the need. The need… for speed!"

After an overly enthusiastic high-five Dick climbed on Wally's back just as the speedster took off toward the cave to grab some extra cash. Artemis and Zatanna were unsurprised at their boyfriend's antics, though Artemis couldn't help but notice, "There is no way Walls is ever Maverick in that relationship."

* * *

 


	16. A Leaf on the Wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wally, Roy, and Dick find themselves kidnapped to the far side of the galaxy. They survive by quoting Firefly's great Hoban Washburne.

* * *

"I aim to misbehave." And with Robin's declaration of his intentions, the intrepid trio of Robin, Kid Flash and Red Arrow set out another hair raising adventure. Except within four hours of said declaration they were on the verge of dying in the middle of space. All in all, it was just another Tuesday evening for the boys.

* * *

It had started when Batman had 'suspended' the team from action for some unknowable Bat-reason. After a whole 4 hours of waiting around the cave Wally had the undeniable urge to go do 'something'. He couldn't put his finger on what, but he knew someone who could think of something quite easily: Robin. Soon enough the young teen had quickly thrown together a plan of action, but he first had to call Roy. After all, his eldest friend hadn't even flown on the bio-ship yet!

In 20 minutes the trio was seated in the bio-ship, prepping for takeoff. Robin wanted to patrol the area for a while with his best friends. Roy had come easily enough, but now that they were actually ready to go he felt a nagging doubt.

"Shouldn't we maybe just ask M'gann if we can fly this thing?"

Robin just grinned maniacally. "Too late to back out now Roy. Wally, punch it."

At Robin's command Wally placed his hands on the control orbs and sent the Martian space ship rocketing into the stratosphere.

Wally was having a lot of fun, even after 30 minutes of doing nothing but flying. Roy and Dick may have regretted having him pilot, but he at least had kept them airborne. While Wally was attempting a quick barrel roll a blue portal opened up in the sky, directly in front of the craft. KF wasn't able to stop in time and the trio plunged straight into the abyss.

* * *

Apparently the portal sent the three to the far side of the galaxy. The creators of said portal were evidently in need of assistance that they felt only the Justice League could provide. But their culture dictated that they not ask for help as it would be an affront to their honor. So they naturally, of course, elected to kidnap the trio of heroes as they were the easiest to locate.

What they had required was the repair of a key component to their floating city. The scientist who designed the engine system had died recently, having never taught another how to properly maintain the equipment. Without the system, the city of nearly 40 million would plummet to the nuclear wasteland below. Those who survived the crash would be killed by the radiation.

The problem lay in a corrupted computer code, one that Robin easily rectified. It only took him a couple hours to fix after the language barrier between the two civilizations had been overcome. The only real issue left was to get back to the transport station, which located on the far side of the planet to avoid enemies transporting directly into the city. For some reason the aliens sent a small armada of about 30 ships to escort the bio-ship. While the trio thought it a bit odd they didn't pay it another thought until they reached the portal generator. Once there they quickly noticed the 35 or so ship directly blocking their path to the massive portal generator.

Robin received a quick communication from the alien's capital ship. The other vessels were apparently their enemies, bent on taking the city and portal. They'd been fighting for millenia, with neither side gaining the upper hand. He, Kid Flash, and Red Arrow were to make a break for the portal, which would open to Earth upon their approach.

"Think you can make it through all those ships KF?" Roy was needless to say quite tense about the situation, and it didn't help that KF accelerated toward the enemy without a response. That and the fact that dozens of ships blowing were each other to oblivion around them.

Robin was seated closer to Wally and thought he heard KF muttering something to himself. The speedster repeated himself, a little louder as a ship exploded off their port side.

"I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." Another two rammed into each other several thousand meters the front-left of the ship. The explosion took out three others. One larger had hooked on to a smaller vessel and spun it around to gain speed before letting the line loose to throw the small ship like a torpedo and the friendly alien's capital ship. Wally, compared to his two companions, was taking the situation quite well, looking focused and determined. He accelerated even more, narrowly dodging a piece of debris from one of the smaller ships. At least, he'd thought he dodged it until it connected with the underside of the bio-ship.

"What the hell?" Roy was less than pleased at the turn of events."

Wally hastily replied. "It's OK! I'm a leaf on the wind!"

"What does that mean?" By the time Wally was able to answer Roy's questions the bio-ship was nearing the portal generator. Suddenly and blue portal opened before them and Wally pushed the ship for all she was worth. The portal closed behind them, leaving the epic space battle behind.

Wall just flopped back into his seat and exhaled as he spoke. "I'm a leaf on the wind."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to the great Hoban Washburne, a man killed before his time. Damn you Joss Whedon!


	17. A sudden, but Inevitable Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin gets de-aged, wants to play dinosaurs with Wally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will TV quotes, but they have be really awesome and I will have to include them in a chapter that boasts it's own movie quote. In this instance there is a fantastic scene from Firefly seen here:
> 
> www.youtube.com/watch?v=znxFrgql5dc

* * *

**Mount Justice**

**December 24 – 2:30 p.m.**

It was Christmas Eve and Robin went and got himself de-aged for what seemed like the umpteenth time in last few years. Batman had dropped off the now roughly six year old child with his teammates as he, The Dark Knight, went off to Gotham to catch the man responsible for his protégés current state. Wally, was not in the mood.

"What are we supposed to do with him? I took back all my kid's stuff from the last time, which was like four months ago! Am I just supposed to keep that stuff here all the time? And it's Christmas Eve! Some of us have families to get to you know!" Wally's last statement caused Artemis to visibly tense, which Wally noticed. "What I mean to say is, do we have to spend the night or are you planning on coming back?"

"I will return here to collect Robin before six p.m. Keep him occupied and SAFE until then. Last time I found Robin in the vent where he'd been sleeping for four hours. I will not tolerate that again."

Batman sounded intimidating as he recounted the time when a then four-year old wanted to play hide and seek, but made the rest of the team look like idiots running around to find him. But despite his demeanor the team knew Batman was actually being a little soft, he knew how Robin could get when he was in the mood to screw around. No one, not even the great and powerful Batman, could stop the little acrobat.

Batman turned to zeta-tubes, but had one last piece of information. "There are several toy bins in the armory. You'll find something in there."

And as soon as he came he left, leaving Robin standing on the ground holding the hand of his now much older best friend. Wally quickly became much less abrasive when he looked into the eyes of Dick. "You want to play something little man?"

Dick nodded enthusiastically, pulling Wally behind him on the way to the armory. It seemed that the de-aged hero retained most of his memories, but had assumed the mannerisms of a true six-year old, which manifested in his selection of two dinosaur toys; one blue stegosaurus and one orange tyrannosaurus rex. The duo then made their way back to the lounge where the rest of the team was assembled for a movie night. They'd selflessly let Wally assume babysitting duties so they could watch _Home Alone 2._

"Wally, let's play!" Dick sat down on the floor right in front of the group. He handed Wally the two dinosaurs.

When Robin didn't say anything else or make a move to play on his own Wally took it upon himself to entertain the young boy. A story was running through his mind and took one of the dinos in each hand.

"Yes. Yes, this is a fertile land and we will thrive." He made a motion with both hands to encompass the area of the floor in front of him. "We will rule over all this land! And we will call it…this land."

He turned the tyrannosaurus on the stegosaurus and his voice took on a light-hearted growl. "I think we should call it YOUR GRAVE!"

Robin's eyes widened as Wally pulled the stego back a few inches and made his voice sound shocked, even adding a slight accent to his normal voice. "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

The older teens chuckled as he had the two dinos fight for a moment before pulling the t-rex back on its hind legs. "He, he, he. Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!"

Once more the two dinos went at it. The stego definitely came off the worse of the two. "OOH, No. No God. Nooo-ah! Dear God in Heaven."

The zeta announced the arrival of RT, causing Robin to jump up and go to greet the newcomer. Tornado took stock of the scene and quickly surmised the young Robin had been de-aged for what was now the 7th time. RT shook the young boy's hand and watched him run back to the couch where Artemis was seated. Dick nestled in between the archer and the speedster as the movie just finished with the opening credits.

* * *

**5:55 p.m.**

During the movie Dick had passed out just before the credits rolled. Conner had carried the boy to his room, but no one had check up on him since 4:30. Batman came five minutes early to collect Robin, just as he said he would. He strode purposefully to the boy's room, but he didn't come out carrying a sleeping child. Instead the troll himself, at his proper age, came bursting out of the room and raced toward the zeta-tube and cued up coordinates for Gotham City.

As Batman followed behind and the zeta tube whirred to life, the acrobat turned to the team. "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!" He made a motion like he was firing a machine gun at the team (only Wally went along, falling down in a grand death scene). "And a Happy New Year!"

* * *


	18. Pitch Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin interrogates Wally about his feelings for Artemis.

* * *

**2016 – Time unnecessary**

To say Wally and Artemis had an unusual relationship would be putting it mildly. Like, really mildly. But considering that one of the two is a speedster and the other is an ex-assassin, things weren't too crazy. They both clearly loved each other, and their relationship was an inspiration for several members of their team. Despite that, the team never missed a chance to get some good ribbing in about the relationships early days. One conversation is usually brought up in those times.

* * *

**January 2, 2013**

Wally woke up in the interrogation room, completely unsure how he had arrived. He was surprised to find his hands unbound, even further confused more Robin walked into the room with a folder of some kind. The acrobat threw the file on the table, the pictures within spilling out on the metal top. Wally blushed when he saw they were pictures of he and Artemis's impromptu New Year's celebration aboard Watchtower.

"Wally, there is something I need to know. Clearly there is something between you and Artemis, but I want it on record. What is it you like about Artemis?"

Wally thought for a moment, trying to process the situation. Then he spotted Robin and Zatanna also partaking in the midnight tradition. He smiled to himself when he realized who was probably watching behind the two-way mirror and he quickly figured out his response.

"The legs, definitely her legs." He made a curving motion with his hands. "Her legs and right where her legs meet her back, actually that whole area. That and above it."

Robin just broke down laughing. It was definitely such a Wally thing to start quoting Firefly in a situation like this. Actually, the more Robin thought about it that more he realized that there was never not a time to quote Firefly, it was just that awesome. Still, his primary objective was completed and he needed to pass the torch off to the person running this little interrogation.

Wally sat back in his chair as he watched Dick leave the room. His confidence quickly drained when he saw the very object of his affections enter soon after with an evil smile on her face. Well, it wasn't so much evil as it was wicked, which had an annoying habit of really either making Wally nervous or revving his engines, so to speak. In this instance it was definitely the former.

The feeling grew as the archer sat down across the table and lean across, offer Wally a rather fascinating view. "I was thinking we should kiss."

Wally leaned forward, nearly cross the rest of the distance, with a smirk smeared across his face. ""Well, sometimes I think I should do crystal meth. But then I think, eh, maybe not."

Artemis's response was to grab Wally's shirt collar and pull his lips towards hers.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! Not sure what I'll be doing for my next chapter, but you can bet that there will be more Firefly references.


	19. Star Trek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Kid Flash teach Superboy some of the finer points of human culture.

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"What exactly is this 'colorful' language you keep yapping about?" Superboy was not in a good mood to put up with Wally's antics. Considering they were walking around San Francisco after a mission he didn't think he could get away with throwing him into a building.

"Look, language is a lot more colorful and fun when you use the right words. Didn't those g-morphs teach any swear words?"

Superboy looked at Wally quizzically. "Swear words?"

"You know, things like dumbass, shit, the f-bomb. Ring any bells?"

"No. Do I really need to learn this?"

Robin popped behind the duo. "What does he have to learn?"

Wally was startled by his friend, but responded quickly. "Swear words."

"Ah, I see." Robin looked down, the gears in his mind whirring fast. "Well, the only way to teach is by doing."

Robin and Wally shared a knowing glance as they turned to cross the busy street. Wally began distracting the demi-kryptonian to keep him from noticing the on-coming traffic. A cab slammed in its brakes just in time to stop before striking Superboy. The driver leaned out the window to berate the teen.

"Hey kid, can't you see cars coming. Dumbass."

Hearing the word dumbass made Superboy sping around the car. "Well," He hesitated, unsure how to really respond back like Wally would want him to. "Double dumbass on you!"

As the trio finished crossing the street Wally fist-bumped Robin for clasping Superboy on the shoulder. "It's a start. Not a great one, but a start nonetheless."

* * *

A few weeks later, the boy found themselves in the middle of a forest on a camping trip. Superman was the team's den mother for the week and began acting more like an actual scout leader than a supervisor. The guy's attitude was quickly getting on the team's nerves. But they had been forced to go camping, and Wally was taking the experience to heart. Artemis and M'gann had somehow opted out the experience and Kaldur was in Atlantis training, but Robin, Superboy and Kid Flash all found themselves in the woods near the cave.

Superboy had been actually quite helpful setting up the camp, which surprised the heck of the other two. Apparently the g-nomes hadn't told him how to use swear words, but they had given him knowledge about camping. After roasting some marshmellows Superboy mused aloud.

"I believe we are required to engage in a ritual known as the sing-a-long."

Wally smile wistfully. "I haven't sung around a campfire since I was a boy in Iowa. Wait a minute. Robin, what are we gonna sing?"

"How about 'Camptown Races?"

Wally responded with his own suggestion. "'Pack Up Your Troubles.'"

Superboy looked at Wally confused. "Are we leaving, Captain?"

Robin facepalmed. "It's a song title, Spock."

"Oh."

Wally snapped his fingers as he thought of another one. "Cow jumped over the moon?"

Robin shook his head, confident in his own choice. "'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.'"

Wally slapped his leg. "'Row, Row, Row Your Boat.' I love it. 'Row, Row... Do you know 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat', Supey?"

"That song was not implanted in my education."

Robin jumped up excitedly. "No, these g-nomes had robbed you of so many awesome things. The line must be drawn here! This far! No further!"

Wally looked at Robin oddly. "OK, other than our friends weird antics let's get back to business. The lyrics are very simple. It's 'Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, ...merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.' Rob and I will start it off and then when we give you the signal you jump in. Rob if you please.

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

Robin and Wally began singing as best they could. "'Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream merrily, merrily, merrily, ...merrily, life is but a dream.'"

Wally tried to get Superboy to jump in, but it failed to work. "Come on. Why didn't you jump in?"

"I was trying to comprehend the meaning of the words."

Rob face-palmed again. "It's a song. You sing it. The words aren't important. What's important is that you have a good time singing it."

Oh, I am sorry, were we having a good time?

Now Robin was just frustrated. "God! I think I'm starting to think your worse than Superman!"

Wally tried to calm the situation. "No, no, no, stop it. Let's... Let's go to bed and just let's get some sleep?"

Superboy looked to Wally questioningly. "Kid Flash?"

Superboy, we're camping. Call me Wally."

"Wally?"

"Yes, Superboy?"

"Life is not a dream."

"Go to sleep."

"Yes, Wally."

Wally spoke over his shoulder. "Good night, Robin."

"G'night, Walls."

Superboy echoed Wally's actions. "Good night, Robin."

"Good night Supey."

* * *

**I hope you liked it. I'm going to try one with a few Star Wars ones next, and possible something from Blues Brothers per DoomStone's suggestion as he was the 200th reviewer.**


	20. These Aren't the Heroes you're Looking For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the Reach can't take away the awesomeness that is Star Wars.

* * *

Coming from a post-apocalyptic future meant that there was lot of human culture that Bart missed out on growing up: schoolyard pranks, snow forts, online gaming, etc. Because of this it often made his actions or words appear quite weird to his new friends, which was why most of the heroes often tried adamantly to get out of missions with the chatty speedster. Jaime Reyes was not one of these people, having become the kid's only real friend on the planet. This relationship made them an easy choice for the mission that Nightwing had assigned them.

The pair had been given a simple recon job in D.C. Jaime suspected is was mostly to keep Bart out of Nightwing's hair for the night, but he planned on doing the job as be he could. The pair reached their target, a U.S. representative that was supposedly targeted for an assassination. The Secret Service and police had been altered, but Nightwing said he wanted some extra eyes on the scene. It took only a few minutes for Bart to begin filling the air with words.

"This is so not crash! We're just watching some old lady give a speech."

Jaime sighed. "Chill,  _ese,_  Nightwing wouldn't have given us this assignment without a reason."

The two's attention was so unfocused they completely missed Deadshot approaching from behind them. "Yeah, I suppose he sent you to stop me. Too bad."

Bart and Jaime turned to face the intruder, noticing the two sub machine guns in his hands. Both raised their hands, but Bart as usual had something to say. He slowed waved his left hand in front him and spoke in a sage-like accent. "These aren't the heroes you're looking for."

Deadshot was not impressed with the humor, only tensing to fire. The moment's hesitation have Impulse all the time in the world to run and grab the guns from his hands, giving Blue Beetle time to blast the assassin with his sonic cannon. The two stood over the unconscious enemy before Jaime turned to Bart.

"How'd you know that line,  _hombre?_ "

"Star Wars was actually one of the only movies to survive all the way to my future, well, at least the original three."

Bart's explanation was more than enough to satiate Jaime's curiosity on the matter. It made perfect sense that the awesomeness that was Star Wars would survive well into the hellish future he knew Bart hailed from.

* * *


	21. Falling With Style

* * *

"Why do we have to jump from so far away?" Artemis was definitely not too keen to wing-suit jump from 40,000 feet into Biayalian territory.

Robin swiveled in the bio-ships chair. "As Batman said, they've recently developed tech that can detect Martian camouflage and none of the League's stealth Javelins were available."

Artemis was still not feeling it. "But wing-suits? Isn't a little high-risk?"

Robing sighed. "No. These babies have been tested by the best engineers and scientists that Wayne tech can afford. Trust me, if you follow my instructions, you'll be fine."

The Wayne name drop caught the archer's attention. She examined the suit she was wearing. "Fine."

Artemis donned the helmet that would allow the team members to communicate in the air in case the link went down. Thankfully they were infiltrating at night, meaning they wouldn't stand out on radar and their suits would completely mask their individual infra-red signatures.

After Connor donned his suit he too had a question. "So why couldn't I just drop in?"

Wally laughed. "Because I think even after figuring out how to land quietly that a drop from 40,000 feet would set off a few seismic detectors, probably even one in California, which is like 4,000 miles away."

As Superboy grunted as Wally's response, M'gann linked op the team.  _"Everyone online?"_

A chorus of mental affirmations came back through the link as M'gann opened a hole in the floor. Robin stood over the hole and looked around to each team member.  _"Alright, we go one at a time. Five second intervals. I'll jump last. Bio-ship's set to fly in for extraction. Let's move."_

Wally stepped up to the hole first, giving Robin a mock salute before he jumped. Artemis rolled her eyes behind the helmet and followed suit. Kaldur went next, then Superboy. M'gann flew out of the hole, but she still had to wear the suit until they were past the sensors. Robin, true to his words was the last one out of the ship.

The team was mostly silent for the few seconds. As the Earth's gravity struggled to pull the team down in a straight line, Superboy felt a strange feeling of tranquility. He couldn't help but wonder if this was how Superman felt when he was flying. His thoughts apparently drifted over the mental link, earning a swift reply from Wally.

" _This isn't flying! This is falling,_ " He even paused his thoughts for dramatic effect.  _"with style!"_

* * *

 


	22. The Replacements

* * *

Nightwing was currently sweating buckets in the Hall of Justice's training center. When he'd suggested a team wide bonding day he didn't think he'd get talked into joining a basketball game of epic proportions. The veterans had been pitted against the rookies, and the little shits had been putting up one hell of a fight. After 45 minutes of fairly continuous play the team had started their fourth game, and the score stood at 21-20. Needing a single point, Nightwing huddled up his team as Artemis grabbed a quick drink of water. Wally and Superboy stood off to the right, with M'gann to his left along with Artemis.

Dick slicked his sweat-drenched hair back before bending down on one knee. As he told the team the plan, he had the sudden urge to bust one a quote from one of his favorite sports movies. "I know you're tired. I know you're hurtin'. And I wish I could say something that was classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style." Dick stood up, putting his hands on his knees. "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever."

Wally huffed out in mock exhaustion, playing along with the gag. "Right on." He extended his hand and he and Dick gave a bro-shake. "Right on baby. Right on!"

Dick nodded. "Shotgun. DC right, flip 90 dig." He pointed at Superboy. "On the center, on the center. Ready, break!"

Dick and Wally broke the huddle, but the other three looked to each other in confusion. Artemis finally rolled her eyes. "Dumbasses."

The five veterans took up their position on the hardwood. Dick checked the ball to Tim and simply dumped the ball into the paint, where Superboy executed an immaculate baby hook to win the game.

While his teammates celebrated the win, Wally just brought his voice as high as he could. "Game over man, game over!" And no one got the reference, not even Dick.

* * *


	23. Syrug Chug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Wally educated Garfield and Jaime in the art of modern cinema comedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a new chapter. This one has a number of great comedy quotes from a couple of my favorite comedies. Care to take a guess which ones they are? Here's a hint, there are two movies and one of them has already been used.
> 
> This chapter features a few lines of a sexual innuendo, so you have been warned.
> 
> Enjoy!

  


* * *

"I am going to stab you in the neck with a knife!"

Artemis rubbed her temples as Wally's voice rang throughout the cave, soon followed by Nightwing's voice.

"That's it, I'm going upstairs! I'm going to put my nut sack on your drum set!"

"Don't you dare touch my drum set!"

Sounds of a scuffle could be heard from the kitchen area while M'gann and Connor walked in from the dorm wing. Connor had caught the tail end of the conversation.

"We don't even have an upstairs."

Artemis just sighed from the couch and motioned for the duo to join her in the den.

"My boyfriend and his cohort have decided it would be best to have a comedy night for the newbies. As if there isn't enough crap going on around this cave, now we're going to have the freshman spouting off movie quotes and getting into fake fights all over the place.

M'gann gasped as the implication set in. "It'll be like a cave of Wally and Robins!"

Connor's face showed how worried that statement made him. "We're screwed, aren't we?"

His question was answered by Beast Boy running around with the newly joined Blue Beetle.

I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, 'Let's get it on.'"

"Oh I am so not a raper!"

Artemis, M'gann and Connor watched in fascination as the two younger boys walked past them into the kitchen. The trio shared a look and they followed the boys into the kitchen, where a strange sight met their eyes. Dick and Wally were staring each other down as they both readied to chug a full bottle of maple syrup. Garfield and Jaime were providing the color commentary.

Jaime counted down. "3, 2, 1, DO EET!"

Garfield picked up the banter. "Oh, go girlfriend. I'm your mother. Come on KF, you're losing to Nightwing. It's embarrassing!"

Jaime took control again. "Come on 'Wing. You can do it!"

Garfield shook his head. "Ah 'Wing, he's kill ya! I got KF in front by a lot." Garfield looked to Nightwing. "What's the matter, your mother never teach you how to chug?" He turned back to Wally. "Come on KF, come on KF!"

At that moment, KF finished the bottle, putting upside down on the table in front of him. Dick took a break from chugging, drawing as big a breath as he could.

"Damn it."

Wally leaned over the table and spoke in a low and slow voice. "I AM ALL THAT IS MAN."

Dick looked like he was both pissed and impressed. "Every time."

Wally gestured to the unfinished syrup bottle. "Finish it up."

Dick resumed the chug, while Wally critiqued his technique. "See there you have it, you're doing it all wrong. You got to open the throat, relax the jaw."

Jaime cracked up as he delivered his line. "Don't forget to cup the balls. And you're never going to win with those thin little bird lips you got there." Jaime motioned to Wally's face. "See this guy's got these big ol' power lips. Am I correct, KF?"

"So much of my authority is derived from my power right here." Wally puckered his lips.

After that Dick finished the bottle, shouting out as he felt the sugar rush hit his brain. Artemis grabbed Wally's shoulder.

"You just gave a full bottle of syrup to Nightwing."

Wally's eye's widened slowly, as he realized the only possible outcome of this series of events.

"Oh crap."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Leave me a suggestion for a quote in a comment


	24. Lock S-Foils In Attack Positions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another short one, but there are four distinct quotes in it. Three of them should be highly recognizeable, but the final one might be hard to spot. I want to see how many people can guess the movies I've pulled the quotes from.

* * *

**Byalian airspace - September 2015  
**

The team's third annual 'original six' anniversary reunion/mission had been a rousing success all day. The day had been filled with laughter, food, and a movie marathon before a mission to round out the day. The latter event insured that the mission was once again filled with a myriad of classic quotes.

Artemis had been the one to kick things off as she turned to Wally. "Flash, Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!"

As the team had recently watched Flash Gordon, this drew a round of laughter from the heroes inside the bio-ship. A comfortable silence settles over the young adults as they neared their target destination. While the others were probably triple-checking their equipment or going over the plan once again M'gann was slightly pre-occupied thinking about her attempt at a using a quote. Everyone else on the team had managed to throw in a movie quote on a mission in the years they'd been a team, but the Martian still hadn't managed to make things work, not for a lack of trying though.

The team had been sent on a mission to infiltrate a Byalian military compound. There was a lot of chatter going around that the nation's military was covertly cooperating in a terrorist attack on a Quracian civilian target. With the stealth mode active the team neared the base to find the military on high alert. In the sky over the complex were three F-35s flying in close formation.

M'gann smiled as she thought back to one of the first movie's Robin and Kid Flash made her watch all those years ago. ""Lock s-foils into attack position."

Miss M's quiet voice was barely audible, but still drew the attention of her teammates. Everyone turned to stare at her, the silence not breaking until Nightwing gave the Martian a smirk.

"Nice one, Miss M."

* * *

**20 minutes later**

After setting down the team had managed to penetrate the base and make their way to the subterranean main computer room. Getting in had been much easier than getting out. In his rush to finish the hack Nightwing had missed the fact that a silent alarm had been triggered, alerting every troop on the base to the team's presence. Despite the overwhelming numbers the heroes managed to make it back to the surface, but soon stopped when they found the three F-35 jets hovering above them with their weapons bristling. Before anyone else could move three red beams cut through the night sky, slicing the three jets in half. The team looked up to see the bio-ship de-cloak.

Wally whooped for joy as M'gann set down the ship. "You're all clear kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!"

Once back aboard the ship with the intel Nightwing gathered the groups attention. "Movie quotes are fun and all, but we should really think about not using them in the middle of a mission. I mean, they're kind of distracting."

The team was silent as they took in their teammate's statement. Wally purposefully walked over to his long-time friend and delivered a slap to his face.

"Don't dare bad mouth Star Wars, that was all accurate."

Connor just nodded. "After all those movies you made us watch, you want us to stop quoting them?"

Nightwing didn't respond, but Kaldur clasped him on the shoulder. "My friend, this team without movie quotes would be a much duller group. I do not believe that it would fit our varying personalities to act in a more professional manner."

Nightwing rubbed his neck and nodded. "Yeah you're probably right. Batman just wanted me to mention it."

Wally scoffed. "Well you can tell Bats to suck it."

A speaker crackled to life on the ship. The team was startled as Batman's voice rang out. _"I heard that Kid Flash. Would you care to say it to my face when you and the team return?"_

The color drained from Wally's face, while the rest of the team laughed at his expense.

* * *


	25. Is This Heaven?

* * *

**May 2013**

It had been several months since the League had been on a full deployment mission. The main League members, at least those with protégés had spent more and more time in their old base helping to train the young generation. The older heroes honestly quite liked their younger counterparts, but being around them all day had grown a little frustrating. There was a major maturity gap that bothered several of the heroes, especially the ones who either didn't have a sidekick or hadn't gotten to know their's well enough. So when the original seven finally got the chance to go on a mission they had jumped at the chance.

The reason for the deployment had been a series of bizarre weather patterns in the Midwest. It may have been a little overkill to send seven League members on a wild goose chase, but Wonder Woman, Superman and Hawkgirl had been quite adamant about the need to get out into the field. When they exited the Javelin and walked out into the grass they were struck by the beauty of the land around them. The sun was high in the sky, with hardly any clouds marring the stark blue sky. Since it was late spring the meadow they had landed the Javelin in was full of thick green grass with a grove of trees off in the distance hugging a creek bed.

Even Wonder Woman, who had spent most of her life on an island actually called Paradise Island was taken aback. "Is this heaven?"

Superman was quick on the uptake. "No, it's Iowa."

The Kryptonian quickly caught himself. He stared at Wonder Woman with a look of shock on his face. "Did we just quote a movie while on a mission?"

Flash stopped his laughter. "Oh yeah, you most definitely did."

Superman shook his head. "Crap."

Wonder Woman followed suit. "We have been spending too much time with the children."

Flash pulled out his phone as he offered another reply. "Just wait until you get a Wonder Girl. It'll get a whole lot worse." Flash paused as he stifled another laugh. "Man, I'm send this to KF and Robin."

Before Flash could hit send, he found the phone plucked from his hands by Batman, the Dark Knight's stare burrowing into the speedster. "Robin doesn't need anything of the sort. He already has enough dirt on the League to last a lifetime."

Before anyone else could add to the conversation the group was interrupted by an old Chevrolet pickup pulling up beside them. The elderly man driving tipped his worn out baseball cap as a greeting.

"What brings you folks around these parts?"

The League had been expecting to hear a stereotypical accent from the man, but were slightly thrown to hear him speak with a complete lack of one. Superman returned the man's greeting with a nod before replying to the question.

"We're hear investigating the odd weather patterns."

The man laughed at Superman's reason. "Son, there hasn't been anything crazy enough for the League to check out. You know what they say. 'This is Iowa. If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes, it'll change.'"

Flash was let down that there was nothing to do. He looked to Batman, who only nodded. "I believe I mentioned that this was a waste of time before we left the Watchtower."

Wonder Woman was in no mood for Batman's arrogance. "Then why did you come along?"

"To keep you lot out of trouble. Seeing as how you're behaving as immaturely as the team, I believe my decision was the correct one."

The other six members watched as Batman gave a curt nod to the farmer before heading back into the Javelin. The old man gave them a two finger wave from the steering wheel before popping his truck back into gear.

Superman and Wonder Woman followed the others back to the ship. Wonder Woman kept thinking back to something Flash had said.

"Do you think I should look into actually finding a Wonder Girl to train?"

* * *


	26. So much more room to do activities!

* * *

The team had a very successful day. Kaldur and Artemis had been successfully extracted, the Light had been defeated, and the Reach had been kicked off the planet. There had been a long and loud celebration by the young team, one that dragged on well into the early hours of the morning. Much pizza and pop had been consumed, but even Impulse finally crashed around three in the morning.

It wasn't until 9:30 the next day that the younger kids finally dragged themselves out of bed and made their way to the kitchen. On the way they all stopped when they heard insanely loud music coming from Wally's room, accompanied by two grown men yelling out the lyrics. Jaime, Tim, Cassie, and Garfield were outside the room trying to determine whether or not to knock. They were soon joined by Artemis, Kaldur, M'gann and Connor. The older four walked up to the door while Kaldur explained the situation.

"The best course of action in this situation is to tell them to knock it off. It appears they have gotten slightly too wrapped up in their celebration. This is not the first time this has happened."

Connor and M'gann nodded as Artemis punched in the code to her boyfriend's room. Tim made a sudden observation.

"Don't you normally sleep in Wally's room?"

M'gann fielded that question. "I believe Wally and Dick's exuberance forced her to crash in my room for the night."

Artemis added in. "And am I not happy about that fact. Haven't seen him in a month and he spends the night with Nightwing. Typical."

As she finished punching in the code, the door lifted up, revealing the two older heroes listening to a 90's rap song and singing along.

"Everybody get up, it's time to slam now  
We got a real jam goin' down  
Welcome to the Space Jam  
Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam, alright

Come on and slam and welcome to the jam  
Come on and slam, if you wanna jam"

Halfway through the song, the duo noticed their audience and ceased their activities. After cutting the music Wally greeted their guests. "Oh, hey guys."

Connor was the first to ask what was going on. "Did you loft your bed? I don't remember it being that high."

Dick smiled. "Yeah. Now there is so much more room to do activities!"

Dick and Wally did a little dance around the around, kicking their legs out to point out how much room there now was.

M'gann was the one who was now confused. "I thought you boys went to sleep before me and Connor?"

Wally was quick on the response, using a quasi-Scottish accent in his delivery. "Well, you know what? You thought wrong!"

Half the team looked steamed at Wally for seemingly insulting M'gann, but Artemis understood the quote, having been forced to watch the animated movie by Wally a few months ago. "You boys are so damn childish."

Wally walked right up to her, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Dick clasped Wally on the back. "Gone with the Wind, nice!"

Artemis and Wally ignored their friends, lost in their own little bliss. "I love you, babe."

"Love you too, Baywatch."

* * *


	27. Heeeere's Johnny!

 

* * *

**Watchtower  
December 4, 2016**

"Alright, listen up. That means you Bart." Nightwing glared at the young speedster, whose grandfather was attempting to coral him. "We've got another set of storms to deal with."

At the news, Bart stopped his antics. "You have got to be kidding me! Another freak lightning storm?"

Bart Allen was not happy, not one single bit. Ever since the League and the team had defeated the Reach there had been a series of freak storms giving off energy unlike anything ever seen before. For several months the League been monitoring the situation, which had been growing steadily worse each time a new round of storms cropped up.

Barry slapped his young protégé/grandson around the shoulders. "Relax Kid, all we'll have to do is run around, take some measurements, and then we'll back home. I hear Iris is deep frying three whole chickens."

"Really?"

"Really, really."

"Sweet! Last one home only gets one bird!"

With a rush of air, the two speedsters were off, leaving Nightwing standing alone in the briefing room. He was about to shut down the holographic computer when a new alert popped up on the screen. A third storm popped up, though this one was giving off much higher energy readings than the others. He smiled to himself as he ordered the computer to begin readying a Javelin in the Watchtower launch bay. Dick had been theorizing what these storms could be, but didn't want to get anyone's hopes up in case he was wrong.

* * *

**Central City  
** **7 minutes later** ****  


During the quick flight down to the planet Dick had begun feeling like a ball of nervous energy. Should his hunch prove to be correct, this would possible be the greatest day of his life. If not, well, he preferred to not think of the consequences if he was wrong. He kept an eye on the storm as he touched down, noting that the energy was building up to a crescendo of sorts and would be peaking any moment. As he exited the craft he saw the storm before him. A column of an unnaturally yellow lighting was swirling before him, almost like a tornado. Bolts of energy were shooting out of the column, decimating anything it touched. Dick suddenly felt pretty stupid for landing this close. But before he could move away the lightning shone brighter, its white light consuming everything around it, but as suddenly as it burst outward it collapsed on itself. Dick took a hesitant step forward as he tried to adjust from the blinding light. When his vision cleared he saw something that made his breath catch in his throat. There, standing before him was one Wallace West, standing in a true hero pose complete with an upturned gaze and hands on his hips. Wally was smirking as he loosened up to glance at his friend.

"Heeeere's Johnny!"

Dick shook his head at this friend's stupidity. "After five months that's the first thing you say? I'd slap you right now for quoting a movie after coming back from the dead, but I'll leave that to Artemis."

Wally's smile faltered as Dick's words hit him like a MAC truck. Only one thought ran through his mind. _Well, shit._

* * *


	28. Coming Back To Me

 

* * *

**Gotham City**   
**December 4, 2016**

Tigress flipped over the gap between buildings to chase after her target. Things may have gotten easier with Batman allowing her free reign on his turf, but it didn't mean the criminals gained a new appreciation for the law. Her current target was a man who had raped a young woman. Artemis had been too late to stop the assault, only showing up as the man was fleeing the scene. After checking on the woman and alerting the police the hero flew after the perpetrator. The man gotten a head start, but the former assassin was quickly gaining and would overtake him on the next building.

Artemis glanced down to check the gap between the buildings to better time her leap, but that momentary break in concentration would soon bite her in the ass. As she leaped across she noticed that man had stopped in his tracks, turning around her to face his pursuer. The glint of metal caught her eye and Artemis knew that a gun was trained on her. She froze upon landing waiting to see the man's next move. The man's sneer told her all she needed to know. But before she could do a side roll and fire a bolt from her crossbow a yellow blur sped across her vision. She was stunned to find the man was on the ground, tied up in a clothesline she could have sworn was right next to him only moments before. The woman underwear was still pinned on the line where it wrapped around his face.

She slowly got to her feet, laughing inwardly at the fate of the men. Still, she didn't like when other heroes interrupted her work. Looking down at the man she spoke to who she assumed had saved her. "Just because you took over for your cousin doesn't mean you need to follow me around."

"Wrong speedster, babe."

Artemis tensed upon hearing that voice, the voice she hadn't heard since that day in the arctic. She turned around slowly, not wanting to believe what she heard. If she hadn't been wearing the mask it would have plainly obvious she turned as white as a sheet upon seeing Wall West standing before with that infuriating cocky grin on his face.

"Happy to-" Artemis's punch connected with his left arm. "What was that for?"

She punched him again on the other arm. "This is for leaving me to go save the world." She closed the distance to kiss the love of her life. "This is coming back to me."

* * *


	29. Chapter 29

* * *

**Mount Justice  
**

Wally and Dick were having a screaming match in the center of the cave, drawing the attention of the whole team. The insults had been flying, but now things were getting personal.

"I'm going to take your mother out to a nice seafood dinner and then NEVER call her again!"

Wally screamed in reply. "Dorothy West is a SAINT!"

Artemis jumped in the middle. "Alright, let's leave the mother's out of this."

Wally turned to his girlfriend. "I'm going to shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. Yep, in the back of the head."

That comment really got Superboy steamed. He was about to stop the whole thing when Kaldur stopped him with a coy smile on his face. It seemed Aqualad knew something he didn't.

Dick was next with the insult, though this time it was aimed at Wally. "I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker."

Artemis turned her attention to Wally. "You are a smelly pirate hooker."

Wally was quick with the reply. "You look like a blueberry."

Artemis sneered at her boyfriend. "Where'd you get your pants? The toilet store?"

Dick rounded on Artemis. "Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?"

"Well, you have bad hair." M'gann and Zatanna gasped at the Artemis latest insult. No one insulted the Boy Wonder's hair.

Wally screamed loudly to get the group's attention. "I'm in a glass cage full of emotion!"

The room settled down after that until Robin kept things going. "Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast."

Artemis nodded. "It jumped up a notch."

Wally nodded as well. "It did, didn't it?

Artemis shrugged. "Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart."

Wally pointed at Artemis. "I saw that. Arty killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?"

At this point, Kaldur was very nearly losing it, much to the annoyance of Zatanna, M'gann and Connor who had no clue what was going on.

"Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.  
Dick put his arm around Artemis. "Arty, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder."

Kaldur completely cracked up at the end of the conversation, and the three performers joined in on the laughter, only calming down just enough to tell the other three they needed to watch more movies.

The four in on the joke left the room together. On the way out Wally smacked Dick's arm. "I'm a peacock! You gotta let me fly!"

Connor looked quizzically at his girlfriend. "Did he just say he was a peacock."

"I think so. But aren't peacocks incapable of flying?"

* * *


	30. Starship Troopers

* * *

**Mount Justice**

"Could this assignment get any more gross?" Zatanna was busy stocking the bio-ship with copious amounts of Purell as she and M'gann complained about their new orders. "I mean, why do we get the guys like Baron Bug?"

M'gann suppressed a shudder as she thought about the pictures Batman showed them. "I know. I can't even think about going up some of the things he can control."

Artemis threw her back up quiver onto a shelf in a huff. "Would you two stuff it? The quicker we get this done, the quicker we can get back to a nice hot shower with lots and lots of soap."

M'gann was surprised at her friend's reaction consider how she was known to handle snakes. "This doesn't freak you out?"

The archer shrugged. "Not really. I mean, yeah it's a little unsettling this guy can make eight-foot murder spiders, but when it's all said and done it isn't the weirdest thing we've ever seen."

Zatanna nodded. "At least the boys are getting into the mission."

M'gann telekinetically shut the storage container. "When don't they?" The trio looked over at the boys, where Robin was sharpening his birdarangs. "What do you think their talking about?"

Artmeis scoffed. "Knowing Wally it's probably some cheesy sci-fi movie."

* * *

"So, bugs. Think there's gonna be an spiders?"

Robin nodded to Wally's question. "Probably."

"Good."

Superboy was a little confused by the remark. "Why would that be a good thing?"

Wally's smile only widened. "Because then I can quote Starship Troopers, duh!"

Robin's stone cold voice broke into the conversation. "Shoot a nuke down a bug hole, you got a lot of dead bugs."

Wally immediately fist-bumped his long-time friend. "Nice!"

"I do what I can to further the cause."

Wally was shaking from excitement at this point. "Man, there some many lines I want to use right now. I almost wish that I was nearly died just so I could say 'Shed no tears for me. My glory lives forever.'"

"WHAT?" Artemis had moved over to the group to get them moving and dropped in on her boyfriend's comment. "You NEVER say stuff like that right before a mission!"

The team shared a suppressed laugh as they watched Wally run away from Artemis and into the bio ship. As the team was about to the ship with the rest of the gear Wally poked his head out of the entrance.

"Come on, you apes. You wanna live forever?"

Connor hung back from the group along with Kaldur. "What movie were they talking about? I'm still trying to catch up on all the Will Ferrell comedies."

"I believe they were discussing Starship Troopers, which, if memory serves, was a late 90s sci-fi movie based on a 1950s novel that spawned two sequels that never quite lived up to the original. I believe Wally described the last two as severely lacking in the awesomeness that is NPH."

"Who's NPH?"

"An American actor known as Neil Patrick Harris."

"Oh."

As the duo ascended the lamp they heard Wally exclaim something yet again. "It' going be legen...wait for...DARY!"

* * *


	31. Remember, remember the 5th of November

* * *

**November 4, 2014  
10:58 a.m.**

Artemis looked out the window of the bio-ship as she reflected back on the life she'd lived in the last years. It had been over two years since the original team of six had first formed. In that time they had seen death, destruction and things too gruesome to recount. But they had also seen many great and wonderful things throughout their time together. Heck, she'd even found someone to share her life with. When it was all said and done, she decided there wasn't much she would change about her time with the team, though she still couldn't believe her friends tendency to quote movies at the drop of a hat. At first, she thought the practice was funny, but as time wore on it turned into an annoyance. Now, Wally and Dick's behavior had affected Connor and Kaldur, both of whom had been joining in on the action lately. Worse, even she found herself going along with it from time to time. And she knew that tonight's mission might possibly be the worst night to ever have a mission.

Batman had given the team a mission in Coast City to handle security for a Ferris Air gala. There had been some chatter that a bomb would be set off during the event, and the team's main objective was to find it and stop it. Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen, along with a few other heroes were attending the event in their civilian identities so the team was on patrol, sweeping the perimeter until well into the night.

 _West side is secure._ Robin's voice was clear and distinct over the telepathic link as reported for the midnight check in.

Kaldur's commanding tone was next to report. _East side is as well._

Artemis sighed in relief. _So's the north._ There was a pause as the team wait for Wally to check in. He'd been given the solo assignment. _Wally?_

Wally's voice was soft in everyone's head. _I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I believe I have found the bomb. And I may have accidentally stepped on a pressure plate._

M'gann's gasp was audible over the link as the team scrambled to Kid Flash's location. They found Wally standing unnervingly still next to a rather nasty looking device. Robin quickly made his way to the bomb, trying to find a way to disarm it or at least disconnect the pressure plate.

Artemis wanted to slap her boyfriend, but held back. "How could you be so stupid? You should have told us you found it instead of trying to disarm it yourself."

Suddenly, a familiar voice emanated from the device. Deathstroke's was cold and menacing. "So nice of you to join your teammate. As you can see, your speedster has foolishly stepped on one of my _many_ anti-tampering measures. Be careful, little Robin, wouldn't want to blow up your friend, would you? I'll give you a chance to save your friend, but you better make it fast."

Wally and Robin shared a brief look as Deathstroke's voice ceased. The team watched in horror as a timer appeared on the bomb, counting down from four minutes. Robin got back to work but spoke over the link. _No verbal comms from here on out, he's got a mic and camera on this thing. Everyone needs to get clear of the blast radius and inform Batman of the situation. I'll stay to difuse the bomb._

Wally looked incredulously at his best friend. _Dude! No way I'm letting you stay here._

_You aren't exactly in a position to make demands KF._

Kaldur broke into the conversation. _Robin, why has Deathstroke singled you out like this?_

_He's got this weird idea I'm going to go work for him someday. This is a test of my abilities._

Artemis shuddered, knowing full well the depravity of Deathstroke's mind. Despite that, she remained firm in her decision. _I'm staying too, the rest of you need to leave. There's 3:30 left._

Artemis wanted desperately to run over the Wally, but instead knelt between him and Robin. The rest of the team gave a nod, and retreated from the room.

Once the team was gone Robin spoke to Wally. "How we doing , KF?"

Wally was trying to remain completely still, a tortuous exercise for a speedster. "Honestly, I'm kind of freaking out right now."

Artemis put a hand on Robin's shoulder. "You guys know what day it is, right?"

Robin did a double-take. "Really?"

Artemis nodded before turning to Wally. "As of five minutes ago, it's the Fifth of November."

Wally visibly relaxed, letting out the breath he'd been holding. "Remember, remember the fifth of November of gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gun powder treason should ever be forgot."

Robin signaled Artemis to keep him calm, the clock dial a 2:45 remaining.

Artemis racked her brain, trying to figure out what to do next. Suddenly a scene from V for Vendetta popped into her head.

"Who are you?"

Wally immediately picked up on the gag "Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask." He tapped his goggles for emphasis.

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Well I can see that."

"Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation; I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is."

"Oh. Right."

"But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona."

Wally took a breath, before launching into a rant. "Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition."

He mimed making a "V" in the air. "The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous." Wally suppressed a laugh before continuing. "Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Artemis shook her head. "Are you, like, a crazy person?"

Suddenly the bomb powered down, and Robin sighed loudly in relief as there was only 15 seconds until the trio would have turned to ash. Wally got the go-ahead from Robin and then rushed over to pick up Artemis and kiss her deeply. Robin rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly feeling very much like a third wheel.

Before they could go any further, they were pinned together by a bolas, thrown by Deathstroke, who had entered the room unnoticed. The duo lost their balance and fell to the floor, immobilized.

"You once again prove your worth Robin, and now it is time to come with me."

"And why in the hell would I ever do that?"

"Language, my dear boy." The connecting rope on the bolas surrounding Artemis and Wally began blinking ominously. He held up a detonator. "I had Luthor lend me some explosive rope, I assure it is quite deadly."

Robin looked over to his friends, indecision clear as day on his face. He finally hung his head in defeat and made his way over to his nemesis. At the last moment, he lashed out at Deathstroke's hand, trying to get the detonator. Deathstroke easily countered the move, spinning around and catching the Boy Wonder with a swift kick to the stomach. Robin dropped the ground, gasping for air as Deathstroke stood looking down on him.

"I admit I expected more from you. But that will come with training. In time, you will see things my way. Who knows, I may even become like a father to you."

Robin looked up with a smirk on his face as he stared. "I already have a father."

At Robin's words, bats flew through the window behind Deathstroke. Batman followed immediately after, knocking the assassin to the ground. Green Arrow and Green Lantern burst in next, standing side by side with Batman as he glared at the villain.

Deathstroke stared down Robin as he freed his friends. "You will join me Robin, or I will kill you."

Robin shared a look with Wally. "Behind this mask there is more than just flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea... and ideas are bulletproof."

A swift punch to the face from Batman silenced Slade Wilson. Robin helped Batman secure the assassin while Wally and Artemis made their way to the bio-ship. Just before they entered Wally stopped walking.

"Hey Arty?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for that back there."

"Anytime, Wall-man."

"God, I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *


	32. Major League

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's summer time in Mount Justice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided it's time to make a list of all the movies I've referenced in the this collection. In all honesty, you should all make it a point to see a few of those you have yet to see. I'd like to think they are all great movies, and some of them are classics.
> 
> Snakes on a Plane, Predator, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, Taken, The Princess Bride, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Star Ware Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, A Few Good Men, Dirty Harry, Space Jam, O, Brother Where Art Thou?, The Losers, The Avengers, Airplane! (Watch to the 'Don't Call Me Shirley' edition), Die Hard, Super Troopers, Top Gun, Serenity, Firefly (TV), Home Alone 2, Pitch Perfect, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Star Trek: First Contact, Toy Story, The Replacements, Aliens, Step Brothers, Flash Gordon, The Other Guys, Field of Dreams, Shrek, Gone with Wind, The Shining, How to Train Your Dragon, Anchorman, Starship Troopers, How I Met Your Mother (TV), V for Vendetta, Teen Titans (TV), Major League, and Dodgeball
> 
> I was going to have that in a vertical list, but it's crazy long so I hope it's at least readable this way.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

It was summertime for the team, which meant a lot of downtime and a lot of hijinks from the team's own version of the Dynamic Duo: Kid Flash and Robin. Without school to take up time the team hung out constantly, whether there were any missions or not. Their usual brand of humor was starting to grate on the other members, especially since it was all themed around a baseball movies from the 80s.

"You saying Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?" Wally's voice drifted from the kitchen to the sofa in the den.

Artemis face palmed at her boyfriend's loud and angry question. "Are they at it again?"

Kaldur nodded. "I believe so. Though I am unfamiliar with the term 'curveball'."

Connor jumped quickly. "It's a slow or moderately fast baseball pitch thrown with spin to make it swerve downward and usually to the left when thrown from the right hand or to the right when thrown from the left hand."

Zatanna was surprised at his immediate recall. "Part of your Cadmus training?"

Superboy nodded. "Yeah. That, and I kind of like baseball."

This floored the team's archer. "How can you like that crap?"

Connor shrugged. "I'm not a huge fan of the Major Leagues, but watching college ball with Clark is actually a lot of fun. We went to the College World Series this past year in Ohama. It's a totally different pace from professional games. We should all go to a game sometime."

The group agreed it sounded like a good idea, but were interrupted as Wally and Robin leaped onto the couch beside them.

Wally pointed to a non-existent list in his hand. "This guy here is dead."

Robin shrugged. "Cross him off the list then."

The group looked to Artemis, who shook her head. "Don't ask. I think they've been on a Major League kick lately."

Wally turned on the TV just in time to see Justin Morneau crack a home run against the Yankees. "No, that's too high."

Robin leaned over. "Too high?"

"You know, that trajectory."

Artemis slapped the two in the back of the head. "Who gives a shit, it's gone!"

Before Wally and Robin could bust out yet again in laughter Black Canary's voice came over the cave's speaker system.

" _Team, assemble in the training area for today's session."_

Five minutes later the team was fully assembled in front of their trainer. Dinah was holding a bag of what looked suspiciously like dodgeballs.

Dinah held up the bag. "As you can see, today we're going to try something a little different from your usual training. We'll be splitting you into two teams and some Justice League members will be joining you."

Wally and Robin high-fived. The team groaned as they knew what was coming from the two.

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball." Though weren't exactly expecting Robin to produce a wrench from his utility and throw it a fleeing Wally.

 

* * *

 


	33. Where is my Supersuit?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been far too long since I last updated, sorry about that. But I've returned after a summer full of movies to pull ideas from. Let's see who can guess the movies I've pulled the two quotes from in this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

**njoy!**

* * *

**Palo Alto, CA  
West Household**

"Honey, where is my supersuit?" Wally's question loud and carried through the whole of the West household.

Artemis' reply was almost immediate. "I thought you said you were done with the whole superhero thing."

Wally appeared in the kitchen next to his wife in a burst of speed. "I did, but Dick called. There's an Omega Level event occurring the South China sea. It's all hands on deck.

Artemis dropped the spatula she was using the mix up the cookie dough. "Oh."

"Oh is right Arty. Now, where is my supersuit?"

"I may or may not have given it to the Central City Council for the Flash museum."

"What?" Wally pulled at his hair. "Why would you do that? Never mind, I gotta go. Like now." And as quickly as he came Wally was out the door and quickly on his way to the Central City Flash Museum.

Five minutes later a dumbfounded security guard was gawking at a smashed glass case with a note on the pedestal that read,  _Sorry about the suit. Had to borrow it for a few hours. I'll try to get it back in one piece. – KF_

* * *

**Watchtower briefing room**

Nightwing looked across the briefing room floor, eyeing up his counterparts to see how ready they were for the crisis ahead.

"I'm not going to lie. With the main force of the League off planet, this is going to get rough. We've got three Category Five ice storms barreling toward China. They'll converge on Shanghai in just over two hours. They appeared so fast that the local forces have absolutely no chance of evacuating more than a fraction of the population. If we don't stop them these storms will dramatically alter the planet's climate, maybe even destroy human life as we know it." Nightwing paused to let his words sink in.

"My team and I will track down the source of the storms, they're too sudden to be natural. The rest of you will handle evac and transport. Your assignments will be sent to you over your comms once your en route. Make no mistake people. Today we're cancelling the apocalypse."

The group paused at the last bit with Wally being the first to speak up. "Uh, dude that might be the cheesiest thing you've said in a while."

Nightwing realized his friend was right, but refused to acknowledge it. "Let's get to work people."

* * *

**Two hours later**

Wally and Nightwing were the last to remain in the briefing room once the crisis abated.

"So, how'd Artemis take your quasi-return to superhero status?"

"I'll know when I get home. Wasn't a whole lot of time to talk before I left."

Dick gave his buddy a quick glance. "I thought she donated that old uniform to the museum?"

Wally looked down at his old costume. "She did, had to requisition it on short notice."

"So you stole it."

"Not exactly, it was donated without my permission on the in the first place anyway."

"And you also ripped it. Nice going."

Wally frantically look over his uniform, finding a gash on the back of his hamstring. "Crap."

* * *

**Flash Museum  
** **20 minutes later** ****  


The security guard on duty was in the middle of being reprimanded by his boss when a brush of wind, along with a flash of yellow and red, got the two men's attention. Both stood stunned as they found the missing Kid Flash costume back in its exhibit with a small sticky note attached.

_Sorry about the tear. Kind of had to save the world. Again. - KF_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? Again, give me more ideas in your comments!


	34. No Chick Flick Moments

* * *

**100 miles outside of Gotham - en route to Central City  
8:47 a.m.**

Dick slid the gas hose out of the tank and placed it back in the slot, grabbing his receipt as he made his way to the driver's door of the Impala. Dick studied the 1967 Chevy with pride. He'd recently bought the care from a collector of American muscle cars and couldn't be happier with the purchase. The guy had been a bible salesman, but quickly retired the car in the early 70s and left it in a storage shed for nearly 40 years. Thankfully, he'd had the good sense to drive it a few times a year and polish the body once and awhile. The car's body, jet black, was in perfect condition as was the V8 327 motor within. The sun was gleaming off the black paint, just enough to make Dick decided it was time to get in the cab and put on his sunglasses.

Dick popped open the door, sliding in to the driver's seat with Tim Drake on his right. Tim was looking frustrated as he looked through a box of tapes.

"Dick, no one listens to tape anymore. Hell, no one even uses CDs anymore. Why one earth don't you have a MP3 player plugged in?"

Dick grabbed the box from his younger sibling in mock anger. "Hey, this music is classic, just like the car. I'm not going to mess up this baby with a new stereo when it still has the original."

Tim scoffed. "And who says that your music is 'classic'? That box is like the greatest hits of mullet rock."

Dick found the tape he wanted. "House rules, Timmy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. Besides, doesn't get much more classic than 'Carry on my Wayward Son'."

Tim groaned while slumping in his seat. "This is going to be a long road trip. Why did we have to drive to Central City?"

"Because I wanted to test out the new car."

Tim ignored his sibling and managed to slip off into an uneasy sleep until the car rumbled to a stop outside a fast food place several hours later. Dick nudged the younger boy awake and the pair headed inside. After sitting down with their food, Tim noticed a rather odd looking man enter the building. The first thing the young hero noticed was the large brown overcoat the man was wearing, certainly an oddity in mid-August. Then he noticed another man enter through the opposite door, dressed in the same overcoat. He kicked Dick under the table to get his attention.

"Already saw them T, head to the restroom and get your belt out. I'll stall them if I can. Go."

Tim didn't question the order and headed for the men's room as quickly as he could. Unfortunately, he didn't get there fast enough as the blast of a shotgun confirmed the boy's suspicions.

"Nobody move!" The man Tim saw first, now mentally labeled Robber #1, was holding his shotgun in the air, motioning for everyone to get on the floor. Tim mentally kicked himself for not following Dick's orders in time, but didn't have time to dwell as the second robber shoved him in the back with his rifle, herding him back to the group of people near the cash registers. But when he got there Tim noticed Dick was no longer in the crowd.

Suddenly, a metal spatula flew through the air, knocking the second robber in the face, giving Tim the opportunity to grab the gun and put the man on his back with a well-placed kick to the knee. But before Tim could get a handle on the weapon Robber #1 brought his shotgun to bear on Tim, but paused as Dick's voice came from behind him.

"Hey, assbut, drop the gun, or I drown you in boiling cooking oil. This stuff burns at 450 degrees, the effects on your skin won't be pleasant."

The robber turned his head; his gun still trained on Tim, and saw Dick wasn't bluffing. Grayson held a vat of steam and bubbling oil that had just been pulled from the fryer in the kitchen and was ready to throw it all over his intended target. The robber quickly realized his predicament and placed his gun on the ground. Dick cross then man's jaw with a left hook and kicked his body over to his fallen comrade near Tim's feet.

The woman who to Dick and Tim's order was the first to thank the pair. "You guys, you're like Batman and Robin."

Dick laughed at that, playful shoving his younger sibling. "Robin wishes he was me."

Hearing sirens, Tim and Dick bolted from the restaurant and hoped in the Impala, but not before Tim ducked into the main office and wiped the security feeds from the last 10 minutes. Once on the road Tim turned to Dick.

"So, thanks for saving me."

Dick laughed a little, remembering where he heard what he was about to say. "Hey Tim, no chick flick moments, alright?"

"But D, what's up with 'assbutt'?"

"Yeah, not my finest moment. I'll do better next time."

"You mean the next time I'm stuck in civilian clothes, no mask, and held up at gunpoint."

"It's bound to happen again. I'm thinking it'll happen again in three months at least."

Tim nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."

* * *


End file.
